quit smoking pot

It has been over a week since my last entry and I feel stronger than ever. I have not slipped nor have I been tempted. I don’t even feel tempted anymore. I have gone this long and there is no way I am going back. I am hesitant to say this but I really feel like I have kicked it.

Tonight will be a challenge. I going out to dinner with my husband who will no doubt light up in front of me. Prett fucking sad that my peer pressure comes from the man who loves me the most. I don’t blame him though he has his own addiction demons.

Day 7 was a sucess.

I am so proud of myself for staying strong. I still think of it quite often especially when I am home doing mundane things like cleaning. I don’t feel as tempted as I thought I would though. I have come this far I don’t want to have start all over again. I feel that there has been a shift in my willpower. I am stronger and more aware of who I really am. I like this feeling. I feel empowered like I can take on the world and I will. Nursing school starts in 2 weeks and I can’t wait!

I just drove 15 miles, by myself, in a car full of pot. Probably not the smartest thing to do had I been pulled over BUT I was only tempted a wee bit. I stayed strong and DID NOT SMOKE. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

feeling good. Going to try and get organized today.

I am hoping that my serious dis-organization was a direct result of being stoned 24/7.

I woke up early and went for a run. I think the running makes a big difference overall.
I still think about Pot constantly. I was tempted yesterday but did not give in. I had to drive my husbands car and right there in the middle of the center console was a pipe packed with bright green bud. Oh I wanted it. But I guess I want sobriety more.
I can’t wait till I hit 30 days. I have never gone more than 3 weeks without smoking. 30 days will be a huge milestone.
Writing this blog really helps. I plan to keep writing every day to remind myself of my progress and to keep myself on track. I guess you could say this is my virtual MA.

Ok so I don’t know if strong is the right adjective but today marks 4 days without pot.
I feel ok
kinda lazy
even writing this entry is tough
I really want to take a nap
is this normal
shouldn’t I be full of energy and ideas
did I totally fuck myself
will I snap out of this funk
am I going through pot withdrawl
my body does not crave it
but why am I feeling so fucking lazy
whenever I get stoned I’m like the goddamn energizer bunny
shouldn’t everything be reversed
I mean smoking should have made me lazy
and after quitting shouldn’t I be bouncing off the walls?

2 days
no pot for me
why is it I feel blah blah
I thought the minute I quit I
would spring to life

going to bed now
hope to have some amazing dreams.

It’s been exactly 48 hours
hip fucking hooray for me
I am much more productive when I am stoned
I have not done much today
I’ve been so sleepy
and grumpy
how long until my motivation returns?
What if it never does?
What if I smoked all the good out of me?
I always joked that pot was my prozac/Ritalin .
I’m scared.

The urge has not gone away
but when i looked in my eyes
they were bright white
i’d like them to stay that way