Be nicer to my husband

Talk about an outburst! I was so upset and angry about lots of things. I really love him, there are somethings that need improving but all in all he is a gnerally good guy and I like being with him.

I have had a very emotional week

im so sad and angry!!! He always asks me to do things for him and its stuff he can do himself, but he never helps me with my stuff. And its always on my day off or when im supposed to be taking time for myself. He uses my car all the time when i want to use it, I always have to get the train – but its my car! He never cooks. Any time he cleans up after himself he brags and wants a medal for it! He is selfish. He never listens to me. He makes me feel lonely and a slave. He doesn’t show me physically that he loved me. Why should i be nicer to him – he should be nicer to me! Im crying now

Im afraid i push his buttons on purpose. Sometimes when im angry i want to hurt him (emotionally) and i get real mean, spiteful, manipulative and just plain ugly about it. For the first time in the 3 years we have known each other he yelled at me last night. I got very scared cos i have been in an abusive relationship before. It made me realise how bad i treat him and he just puts up with it but if something happens that i dont like i yell, scream slam, doors and withhold things he needs. I shouldnt treat him like that. i need to be nicer. Instead of doing little things to make him happy i am going to work on not taking my anger out on him, being more understanding of him and appreciating him. It will be really hard because this is a life long habit that i need to change

1. he is coming home from an out of town gig today and he is very tired and still a bit sick. I could set up the house in a way that he has everything he needs and write a note about it

2. plan our food and fitness for the week

3. i think my biggest problem is being snappy. so go the whole day without snapping.

I’ll do those 3 today :)

poor little husband is sick :( Im trying to take care of him as best i can. got him chicken soup, brought him drinks and hot water bottle, set up dvds in the bedroom and got him a guitar magazine. Tonight ill help him take a shower and maybe get him some new dvds to watch.

He has also decided he wants to loose weight so we have joined sparkpeople together and ill try and make better food and excersize together :)

im getting a bit snappy. i challenge myself to go all day tomorrow without critisizing him and learning to pick my battles

i filmed him playing guitar so he can enter a guitar competition. i helped him plan how to do it too. he wanted to submit his 1st draft but i convinced him to wait 24 hours and watch it over again to reasses it. then to film more the next day even if he doesnt use the 2nd footage and then edit it yesterday. he editted it yesterday and only used the 2nd footage. i explaned that he can take the best out of both sets of footage (even if he doesnt use that final copy). He did just that and last night said that he doesnt care now if he wins because he is just happy with his final copy. He feels he has given his best and is happy.

i screwed up last night by yelling at him…i was a real bitch, i can see that today. When i get angry i say really mean things because he doesnt react to anything and it provokes me even more…

I need to learn to walk away and cool off.

Thank you to everyone for their input on cheap date ideas!

I cooked his favourite steak dinner, then we got rugged up and in the car, I didnt tell him where we were going. Drove to the Docklands (Just on the other side of the city aprx. 15 mins away. V. nice area by the sea, restaurants, nightlife, view of the city) to watch a free performance art piece. We picked up some Krispy Kremes for desert while we watched musicians and a fire exhibition. Then picked up some dvds on the way home

It was fun and a great night. Good to get out of the house and do something.

i have just discovered fly lady. hopefully this will help me keep the house under control and make a happier home for my husband :)