I have readded this goal as I’m having a bit of trouble again. I had a massive panic attack while I was on the train home from work and ever since then (3 or 4 weeks ago) I have not been able to get the train home again :(
alexljsanders has written 16 entries about this goal
You guys are all braver and stronger than you give yourselves credit for – i know what panic attacks are like and they are hell!!! We are all fighters here and have fought more battles with ourselves than ‘normal’ people ever will in their lives! You feel like you are crumbling in the moment but really, the truth is, you are getting through it to the other side.
Its been 3 years since i first posted in this goal. I just reread my entries and can see how far I have come.
Back then I was afraid to leave the house or socialize.
I got a job which was a major fear for me (being stuck somewhere not at home). I got a job, I’m still with the same company but have progressed in my role.
I was afraid of public transport. Now i take the train to work and friends houses, I have even flown to America twice.
I was afraid to socialize. I am now the one my group relies on to organize parties and social outings!! Usually once every 2 months i have organized an event (10 or more people).
I was afraid to cook, especially chicken or fish. I now cook both with ease – and eat it for left overs the next day.
Finally I was really afraid to try new things. Now i am excited to go to new places and try new things. I even got my wisdom teeth out a week ago! I admit, it didnt happen without fear or a small panic attack but i got it done and I’m really proud of myself.
I hope this post is not annoying or obnoxious. I just wanted to share with everyone a good recovery story. I have learnt that for me anxiety is not the problem but usually a symptoms of other problems. I used to focus on the anxiety rather than my life – it overcame me. When I started looking at other things in my life and changing them the anxiety started to go away. I don’t mean to say ignore it. Acknowledge it and let it happen, knowing it finishes, then continue life.
i am living very normally and happily at the moment. I may pop up again in this goal but I have not had anxiety for the last 4 months or so. All is good….good luck to you all.
Read Zigpaws story above – I couldnt have said it better myself! Acceptance is the key – I swear it!
well, nothing bad anyway…not anything i haven’t been able to handle. I think for me, I will always be prone to anxiety, it is the way i deal with stress in my life. So, I will give this goal till the end of the year when i have assignments and exams and everythign else going on and if i dont freak out, i will mark this as done at the end of the year. In the meantime I will start excersizing and eating right, go to bed and wake up at regular times and practice some relaxation stuff so I am well equipt for stress.
at the moment is envoking anxiety. i am living very comfortably…am i avoiding anxiety situations? not that i know of.
i will be starting back at uni on the week of 11/08/08 and this in the past has causes anxiety..we will see how we go.
but right now there is no anxiety :)
i worked in the city twice in a row…not scared of it anymore not scared of the train! woohooo…but get this!..the first shift i did in the store i got robbed! oh well, it didnt bother me…i thought it would scare me off going to work the next day or going to the city but im fine
ok today i have to work in the city. that means taking the train in and i am anxious about being in the city for work anyway. i feel like i cant get home fast enough if i need to and the hours at this store are longer and the heaters are too strong :( no thats a stupid reason….im just stressed! Then after that i am going to my parents house for my dads bday – another train. the ride is twice as long. Then a train home from there. Then tomorrow i work in the city again.
When i get very anxious it comes out in me in a physical way. to be more specific – i have to run to the toilet – quickly! i hate that im going to have to deal with that problem at work :( it makes me even more anxious thinking that people might notice something is wrong :(
AHHHHHHH FUCK I JUST HAVE TO DO IT!!!!
i took the train again to the city and back! no problems..all went smoothly :)
another problem i have had has been sleeping with the light or tv off. I get nervous that i will wake up in the middle of the night and feel sick..somehow, in my crazy little mind, it wont happen if the tv is on. i know it makes no sense but neither does my fear of vomiting. anywho, I am on my 5th night tonight with no tv or night light on! yay..i am getting the best sleep
also i was a passenger in my friends car today..my emet makes me believe that i will get car sick if i let someone else drive…so i was good at that too.
damn i sound so screwed up…i hae so many ‘rules’ as to what i can and cannot do..im trying to tackle them one by one.
oh and i also made soup for dinner tonight..i fear my own cooking, especially things i hae never made before, i worry that i wont cook meat properly or that something i cook will give me food poisoning…so i stick to very basic meals and meals i hae done before. i am 27 and i have never cooked chicken or fish.
so tonight i made soup with pumpkin and potato and leek..it is a new meal for me and one i can add to my reportoir :)
Friday I only did half the train ride…got to do another on Tuesday. Our car has something wrong with it so it is undrivable right now.
I am gonna try get on the train all the way to the city today, husband will be with me to help. I’ll go to the markets to get food for dinner. Then I’ll buy Dad a b’day pres.
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