revalue love over lust in all my interests

I’ve gotten much better at imaging my level of buyer’s remorse before buying most anything, but I’m so very torn. Is this love or lust? sigh

http://www.pier1.com/Catalog/Furniture/tabid/519/List/0/CategoryID/156/level/a/ProductID/3241/ProductName/Hayworth-Lingerie-Chest/Default.aspx

What should have been obvious to me all along, but what I’ve just now put to real thought is that one thing that separates love from lust is longevity. Owing to this, I’ve begun sitting on possible purchases and coming back to them in a few weeks to see if I have 1) money to buy them and 2) interest still.

Especially where Etsy is concerned, I’ve begun saving the items I really like and coming back to them in a couple of weeks. What I’ve found is that many of them are momentary lusts that I’ll have no true use for and that if I buy them, will cost at least 2 hours’ work. Not good, essentially. Of course, this isn’t completely about purchases, but the symbolism seems an important one.

Ultimately, I think what I need to remember here is that in most cases, lusts will dissipate rather quickly while loves tend to stick around. I need some patience is all.

As I said, it was obvious, but where nonhuman interests are concerned, I need to remind myself.

When I’m feeling as restless and inconsequential as I have been lately, I tend to turn to grocery shopping or laundry for a sense of independence. Last night, I went to the drug store, looking for nothing in particular, but in the mood to spend $5 on perhaps a bottle of bubble bath or bath salts or hair products—something I could use in a quest to pamper myself. I found 2 different nail polish colors that are absolutely beautiful. I never find nail polish I like, so I buy the next best thing and let it be. Last night though, I bought a shimmery nude and a purple-mauve that matches one of my sweaters and for $7, I’m absolutely satisfied. What’s best, they won’t sit in a box never to be used.

It’s small, but it’s something.

...it seems too integral to pass up.

While I was in college, primarily, words were lovely for the sake of themselves, but books often became objects of lust. I’d collect anthologies to display proudly, but I’d only read what was assigned for class. I’d proudly display classics while being able to boast having read only a couple of them. Posters weren’t a matter of actually liking the images so much as having something to cover the walls, something to amass. Clothes, similarly, were given as gifts and kept in my closet, unworn. Why not take them back or exchange them for something a little more me?

Not that I’m a hoarder or a conspicuous consumer, it’s just that I know what I like and I know I’m insanely particular, but I always feel like I should branch out, expand my interests and subsequently, I try new colors, new schemes and invariably, they end up becoming clutter.

Must take a second to breathe, then, to realize that there are things I do, in fact, favor and there are things I do, in fact, not. There is no reason to follow anyone else’s definitions with regard to personal taste and so I will either love something or leave it on the shelf or the hanger or the rack at the store.

This covers everything, I think. Books, furniture, food, clothes, apartments, cities, activities, people, etc.

I know better, it’s just so easy to get caught up in the sparkle of it all. No more, eh?