After being abused for 6 years, I learned how to love myself by doing two things:
1. “Talking” to myself in my head the way I would to a dear child or friend whom I loved very much. Like: “It’s okay that you can’t find your wallet, sweetie, you’ll find it soon. Just imagine how you’ll feel when you find it! You’ll be so happy. Of course you misplaced it—these things happen, especially when PTSD gets triggered. You’re fine, and we’ll find that wallet soon.”
2. Going to Bikram Hot Yoga and having to look into my own eyes for 90 minutes every day. Sometimes I couldn’t look at my eyes. Then I would look at my heart. And when I finally could look at my eyes, I would smile at me. “I love you. You are alive, and you are here, and I love you.”
Life is such a precious gift. If we can look at ourselves in the mirror and say to our own dear selves “I love you—I really love you” and mean it, then we can love others. It’s crazy, but true.
