come out

My sister loved doing yoga so I sent her a book about it, and I inserted an enclosed letter inside. We live far from each other so the best way of telling her would be through a letter, where I can explain everything. I’ve finished the book “is it a choice” by eric marcus and I found out it’s better to send a letter than an e-mail (which was what I was thinking before).

Doing this is so risky because she still lives with my parents. So I called them beforehand telling them I’m sending a package for my sister, which has a book she will enjoy. But my mom was kind of curious because she knows it’s expensive for me to send something overseas. So I just explained that it’s not really a big deal. Now I know that my parents respect our privacy, and I never had any issues with them opening our letters or packages so I trust my letter would be safe.

I’m still worried though about my sister’s reaction.

I think it’s been a week now since I’ve started planning on doing this. I’ve been kind of miserable whenever I think about it because I don’t know what other people’s reaction would be like. To help me a little about this dilemma, I bought two books from Amazon about coming out, it’s called “Outing Yourself” and “Is it a Choice?”. They have a very good review so I’m really hoping that it would make me understand my situation better.

Just tonight, I was with my relatives. She has a son and a daughter. She noticed that her son was screaming like a girl and she started shouting at him, saying things like that’s not how a boy is suppose to act… etc etc. I kind of felt sad for him because he’s just a little boy but I’m sure he will remember this little event. It’s this kind of reaction that’s what’s scaring me the most. I don’t want to be rejected and disowned. I guess that fear has been in me for a very long time and I’m tired of hiding.

I’m really thinking of telling my sister once she comes back from vacation. I already emailed and messaged (IM) her that I have something special to tell her… just to give her a head’s up.