take better care of my skin

I used to do the Over Kill thing. Since I fancied that boy in High School, and I had the worst acne ever, I always was aware of my acne.

I always tried too hard in every aspect of my life – I was too generous. I always made too much of an effort with people who were not very nice. I am quick to forgive, and yet I am still bitter on the inside.

It’s the same in my skin regime. I have tried too hard at something that is simple.

All I do is cleanse, tone and moisturize. I get peels occasionally, and I also get botox. I get it at the age of 23 because I do not want wrinkles when I get older.

This is because I live in a very hot climate, and my skin is going to age quicker than you all. I am caucasian living in Thailand. I have a partner who will not forgive me for aging before my time.

I love him, but he’s a man. Make no effort for your man, and you’re going to lose him. I don’t care what romantic things people say – if you’re not everything a perfect wife should be, you’re going to be silently critisized behind your back, and you’ll know it instinctively.

The last thing I have to say is this. Girls, we have the upper hand. No matter what anyone tells you, or what people think – we’re the ones with the cards. This is more of a female thing than a male thing, I’m sorry, I am sexist, but men can come to Thailand (i see it) and have a girl who is half his age and they don’t care for his personality. They see dollar signs.

I however, do not have anything other than me to offer, and lord, if I have to be the prettiest (without being a whore) girl in thailand, with the aid of a few things here and there, then I am not sinning in having a little vanity.

It’s as much about seduction and self confidence as anything else.

Love yourself more than you care about the skin, but if you want more self-esteem that can be brought from nice skin – don’t question yourself – just do it.

I am coming home in August, so I’ve started taking Doxy, which is an anti-bacterial, and can also be used as something to ward off the crap that mossies have in them. I’ve used it before, and it does work, but you have to consistently take it, and it’s a morning and night thing, so I have a pill box.

I’ve been through accutane, but even though my acne has never been the way it used to be (abysmal), I find that sometimes if I don’t take care of my skin properly, and I don’t cleanse and moisturize, then I get really bad skin. When I take good care of my skin, it looks really good.

I have some botox in the freezer, as I bought a bottle for my Dermatologist to use (I have no idea how I manage these things – I’m a very resourceful person who does things the cheapest way possible, but never compromising quality).

I really liked the results of my first try of botox, and apart from passing out from low blood sugar (and ending up in hospital with cranial stitches), I’ve had a great experience with it. I will definitely have it before I go home.

I was nervous having it because I thought it might go wrong, or the doctor might poison me, as it is a toxin, but it was a success. I found it made my face look more serene and happy. Although I can still smile, etc, it does not contort my face as it used to. Sometimes, I know this sounds sad, I would have those sort of smiles that I find goofy and helpless. You know, when you’re around someone you really have the hots for, and you can’t help smiling in a way that makes you look like a dolt.

Well I don’t want to betray any of those sort of emotions, and it also stops people looking at me when I’m overly thinking something. It basically is a body-language drug for me. I have it so I can have a quiet face, and an active mind.

I did have wrinkles, but I didn’t know they existed before I had botox. They’re just young lines that everyone must have, but at 23, I don’t have anything natural about my face, other than I guess the acid I use on my face is an AHA, and that’s natural…

My regimen is this:

A cleanser with salycic acid in it (at the moment I’m using Ponds, which is very cheap and gentle, and for oily skin)

I use 12% Glycolic Acid, which I leave on for a little while, then wash off.

Afterwards, I use a non-oily moisturiser with an SPF of 15 (sometimes, depending on time of day, I use up to 50, non oily, as I’m in Thailand, and I’m European).

I’ll have to get a facial soon, even though my face looks fine. I get a regular 70% peel every 10 days. I do everything I possibly can, including changing my diet, to stop my acne, and even though it’s a drastic measure, it works when I am steadfast.

I should be out in the sun more tomorrow and see fresh air, and walk about a bit. I’ve been hanging around the house too much.

I need to be drinking more fluids and less sugary things, but the glycolic acid, botox, salycilic acid and etc. should keep those things at bay.

I’m getting back into my skin care routine that I used to have when it was really at its best. I know I can get it back to it’s optimum level for hardly anything if I just stick to my guns.

I’m in an awful mood, so anything to take my mind off this will be welcoming.

I gave myself a scrub and a mask (clay) today. I have my picture being taken tomorrow. I want to look my best.

I should use my Salycilic Acid cleanser with a 12% glycolic treatment afterwards for 15 minutes, then my normal oil-free moisuriser.

I gave myself a scrub and a mask (clay) today. I have my picture being taken tomorrow. I want to look my best.

I should use my Salycilic Acid cleanser with a 12% glycolic treatment afterwards for 15 minutes, then my normal oil-free moisuriser.

I should go to bed soon to get my beauty sleep, but I’ve been really good today with my skin. I’ve drank plenty of water and I’ve had a facial, as well as having been on a saline drip today.

I go on one occasionally as I think it is good (after I had the stroke) to make sure that I get all the fluids round my body oxygenised and it is a big part of keeping my system clean and healthy.

I’ll have a clay mask then I’ll have a shave, put some moisturiser on, and go off to sleep. I shouldn’t really be using the computer so soon before bed.

I shouldn’t go to bed after my partner as well. I don’t think its good for our relationship.

Facial was good. Painful, but i’ll go back in three days for a peel.

My skin is looking so much better than it was pre-botox, but I think that better skin care regime has more to do with it than the botox…

I’ve just done a scrub, then I washed it off, now I’m doing a clay mask… after that I’ll wash it off, gentle cleanse, and then i’ll probably just stick some moisturizer on before i go to bed.

nice and clean and fresh.

I had a great time in Singapore, but I made sure that when I was on the airplane, that I was hydrated, innerly and outwardly.

My skin is feeling better today. I just put a face mask on. I have barked my partner unfairly this morning because he threw away my 12% glycolic acid that I need to use daily. I will get a facial when I come home to Thailand. I’m going to ask for extractions only. It is only because I can do the other things that they can do – probably better to be honest.

I was very nervous, as it was a friend doing it for me on the cheap. It isn’t that I didn’t trust her, as she is a very experienced doctor, but I had a very low blood sugar, and after everything had been done, and it has made a lovely change. It’s not an expressionless mask.

my smile is serene, and my bitterness is stemmed, which.

However, I had a low blood pressure. I got up from the chair too quickly and passed out on a tiled floor, splitting my head, but not causing any damage. it was mild concusson at the worst. I was disoriented, but that was it. It’s a shame that the experience was ruined by my blood on my mates floor, but things are fine now. I am pleased that I had it done. I’ll get it done again in three months.

I don’t care what people think. If it makes me happy, it can’t be that bad.