stop letting fear control my life

Slowly, with the help of a friend. I am learning to accept myself and trust people. It’s not an area I would have thought I would be working on at this point in time but when opportunity knocks… :) I have a way to go but it’s scary and rewarding at the same time to push my boundaries.

and when I ignore it, I realize later that I made a mistake my fear was trying to prevent me from making. Sometimes fear is good, or at least worth listening to.

In some ways I am making progress, taking small steps and learning that my fears are not founded. It is a very conscious exercise for me. I do feel better about some of the things I have faced lately and I know that I will be a better person because of this. There are plenty of other areas to work on but being aware of when fear is stopping me is a big step forward.

I am afraid of getting a new job, or at least putting myself into a situation that I am not certain I can be successful at.

I am afraid of confrontation, or situations where I think there may be a confrontation.

I am afraid of appearing silly in new situations. So that keeps me from doing things spontaneously, (which is silly).

I tackled some tasks that had been lingering. While I didn’t get everything finished, starting was progress. One task is nearly complete. One has me stuck and I am making progress on a couple others. I felt pretty good about the week.

During a conversation with some folks I work with, a topic came up that caused me some discomfort. Anyway, at the time, I didn’t handle the situation very well and my anger got the best of me (though it was only breifly). The person who started the conversation felt bad about the situation and apologized, but it wasn’t his fault that things got uncomfortable.

This was bothering me for a few days and I finally talked to him and explained that he hadn’t done anything wrong. I did my best to explain the situation and why I had reacted like I had. It was a difficult conversation to have with someone I barely know, and trust me, fear was fighting me over this. I am happy to say that I faced my fear and did what I felt was the right thing to do.

Whew, it was challenging though…

we talked about what is holding us back from going after things that we know will make us happier. Yep, we talked about fear – not fear in the exact sense but the lack of confidence, motivation, etc. that fear is such a good imitator of. The bottomline is that I need to apply for another job since my current one is not satisfying my needs. I need to conquer my fear and interview. I NEED TO DO THIS!

But I finally decided that it needed to be done and – boom, I took care of the problem. Why do I make simple things – like making a phone call – such a big challenge? It’s not like these people even know me or will ever meet me. They are often in another state. So, why do I worry about talking to people on the phone?

Work. I am not happy with my curent work situation and I need to change it. I have several options – find another job in my same company, another job in a different company, start my own business or stay where I am and suffer.

So, my fear of change is keeping me from starting my own job. My fear could keep me from looking for another job, but I don’t want it to. So, I NEED to take action and look for another job.

is looming on the horizon. I need to get moving and take action so that I don’t fail. If I continue to think about the task, and not WORK on it, I will fail.

I don’t want to fail, but if I do, it’s better that I tried rather then just give up.

Time to get working…