be a love letter to the universe (and myself) starting Feb 14 2011

Here are some ideas I have taken from Galadarling’s blog/fbook to become more of a love letter:

-Write a list of 100 things you love about yourself and your life. Then, whenever you’re down, look at the list and remember how blessed and fabulous you are!
-Compliment others. Sounds silly, works wonderfully
- be honest with your emotions. This has been the quickest way to self-love for me. When you honor the uncomfortable stuff, you can finally be comfortable with it
-Self-loving affirmations daily on the bathroom mirror!

As I approach a year from when I first made this goal, I think I’ve had my ups and downs. 2011 has been a rough year self-love wise. I feel like somehow I’ve been slipping backwards and letting others dictate how I feel. I’m having a last-straw moment. I am so awesome and I suppress that everyday… I suppress the fact that I am kind, worldly, and interesting! I suppress the fact that I would be an AWESOME friend, girlfriend, etc. I am so done with this. I am holding back because I am so scared of being happy. So scared of having something to be taken away. but the whole point of this is, if I’m acting in alignment with my beliefs and loving myself, NO ONE can take that away.

I had to rediscover my intentions for doing this in the first place. I didn’t think before that I was worthy of being happy… I thought keeping my surroundings tidy, eating healthy, working out, and generally treating myself well made me self-absorbed and full of it. I realize now, in this one life, that the potential to be happy is so close. I am the only thing in the way of my happiness. I sabotage being happy whenever possible…at every turn. This is now going to be put in the past.

I am in control of my life, and it is okay to take care of myself. It is okay to show the world who I am, what I stand for, and all of that. I need to know that I feel best as a person when I am being kind to other people, and being kind to myself. I am so excited, because I like the prospect of really loving myself. Really really. That’s something that I can’t lose.

In the past I felt the bitterness that many do come Valentine’s Day. I’ve never had a Valentine, and who knows when I will. That’s not even the point! I’m at a great place in my life even though I know I’m always struggling with school and life. Life is beautiful and it has been good to me. Yet everyday I dread waking up! I desperately want to make it through each day, but I also fear the next day so much that I want the world to pause.

I want to live actively, passionately…starting tomorrow. I know what it’s like to go through life like this. You receive so much love back! Any criticism rolls off of your back because it is nothing compared to the meaning you get out of life. This is what I want. I want my best self to be seen by all, everyday. I want to help bring out the best in others by supporting them, and receiving support in return!

I want to take care of myself, and not hate my body. It’s a good body. It’s good to me. I could be better to it. I want to be my best self because I can do so much better for the world. In the back of my mind too, I know that I can be a better person for my future valentine (whoever he is). He’s going to appreciate my quirks, my eccentricities. He will try to understand me, and that will make all the difference. For now and for always, I have to be this for myself.