... seems to have it in for her. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll call her Sarah.
It started in Kindergarten. Back then, they were hot and cold- sometimes they were best friends, sometimes they were mortal enemies. When it got too uncomfortable the teacher would take them aside and tell them to simply stay away from one another.
During one of their friendly spells my daughter went over to Sarah’s house for a playdate. She has a sister that’s about 4 years older, and my daughter ended up playing with her for a bit and it seems this turned Sarah green with envy. From that point on, Sarah has been nothing but nasty to my daughter.
The girls are now in third grade. Last year my daughter was coming home from school in tears, telling me that Sarah was saying “I hate you” and “Nobody likes you” to her. One day when I was walking my daughter into school, Sarah passed us by. I asked her if I could speak with her. I asked her to please not speak with my daughter unless she had nice things to say. She agreed, gave me a hug, and went on her way. I didn’t hear anything else about Sarah for several months afterward.
Recently, Sarah has started up again. She teases my daughter, telling her that she hates her. My daughter says they don’t even play together but it seems as though Sarah seeks her out just to harass her. There was an incident that lasted two days just before Halloween, in which Sarah got a small group of girls to gang up against my daughter to tell her that they don’t like her. Now, they play soccer at lunch together (with a very large group of kids) and Sarah tells my daughter, “You suck” (and other similar remarks) if my daughter misses the ball. (Mind you, Sarah has no soccer experience, so it’s not a case of a superior athlete trying to belittle the competition.)
All along, I’ve told my daughter to just ignore Sarah. I know, I know, easier said than done. My daughter says she does avoid her and that she doesn’t retort with nasty comments when Sarah harasses her. I believe my daughter (she was nasty in return back in Kindergarten, admittedly, but says she doesn’t respond anymore).
The words still sting though. My daughter wonders if she did something to deserve this treatment. I have told her many, many times that Sarah must be jealous of her. I also told her that Sarah will only be nasty as long as she responds, so she should just ignore her and pretend that she didn’t hear the nasty comments.
I thought of asking Sarah to please leave my daughter alone again but I thought it might be better for her to try and resolve this in a different manner. I don’t want her to feel alone, as though I won’t protect her. However, I want her to take this matter into her own hands and see if she can resolve this somehow. Tonight she wrote a letter to her teacher, explaining the situation, in hopes that her teacher can help her to resolve this problem.
Anyhow, I wonder how I can be more supportive. Am I doing the right thing? Does anyone else have a similar experience? How did you resolve it? I hate to see her heart hurt…
