currently, i feel hollow, empty, overwhelming sadness, hopelessnes and misery. I became really great friends with this guy from england who had just moved to my school, i found out he liked me and i [being an insecure preson] was flatterd to find someone that cared about me. I was at a party one night and kissed him and since then we became great friends..he was THE Best friend i had. so kind, and polite – he was english haha, and we just had so much fun always hanging out. things got confusing and he got mad becuase he thought i was leading him on. maybe i was but at the time i wasnt sure if i liked him more than just a friend.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him but he didnt match up to my standards as harsh as that sounds, i prefer older guys who can take charge.. he was more submissive and that wasnt attractive to me.
ANYWAY time went on and when he said he didnt want to be my friend i felt sick to my stomach. i couldnt imagine my life with out him , i literally spent most of my days with him. and he was hurting that tiime becuase he liked me and i didnt like him back. after a while – afraid of losing him, i ddecided that maybe i did like him but i didnt realise it and so we tried going out. after the 4th day i felt a horrible sensation – i just liked him as a friend. so i had to tell him – the hardest thing ive ever done..he was so happy and then i ruined it. i hate my self for it but it had to be done.. so we eventualy became mates again and i told him how much i lloved him as a friend but i just couldnt be more than that and i was sorry. recently..we had a huge fall out becuase he couldnt take just being friends.. i let him have some time, during it feeling immensly hurt, i wrote him a letter explaining that being frineds was better. finally he agreed and said he wanted things to return to the way they were.. being best friends.
ok i just got off the phone to him
we dont know what to do
he thinks that i like him and should try to go out with him.
but i know it wont work although i do really like him.
the truth is – hes just not old or man enough.
shallow i know.. but if im not sexually attracted to the way he thinks and pyschically too… it cant work. he doesnt know this.
i just keep telling him i dont know why.
i tried before and it didnt work. why would it this time.
sorry this is such a mess..
if anyone knows anything that could be of any help – tell me!
i dont want to be his girlfriend..he doesnt want to be my best friend, what do we do to make it happyiest for both of us? even if its the harsh truth i wont want to hear.. tell me.
