Follow the 15 key teachings of Epictetus

Number 6 is my favourite of Epictetus’ 15 key teachings – maybe because it’s the most fun and immediately rewarding – and possibly for that reason it occupies a lively and immediate place in my mind. I don’t have to struggle for it, or remember why it’s important or good, it comes reasonably naturally.

While one of my flaws in general seems to be inertia, acting on generous impulse seems easier than acting on anything else, so it’s more likely to happen for me.

The most recent example happened a few weeks ago on the plane coming back from Mexico. I was sitting next to a woman who admired my brand new Oaxaca bag, a little wistfully since she had seen them in markets and not managed to get one for herself. As we disembarked it suddenly occurred to me that I could give mine to her, she liked it so much. Rather than just sit there fantasizing about how nice of me that would be, I quickly transferred the purse’s contents into my partner’s bag and my pockets, caught up with her and gave it to her, and it became one of the nice magical things that happened on holidays for both of us.

I have little fantasies all the time, and the trick is to pay attention to them and actually act on them, rather than just let them stay part of my pleasant dream world.

Help the old man, buy the guy a sandwich, babysit, cook something especially delicious for G, knit the friend socks. Go to someone’s house and bake them a pizza, give the little girl on the bus your bracelet, tell the stranger you like her scarf or hair or skirt. Offer to help. Smile. Say the nice thing. Offer. Never suppress a generous impulse.

Stoicism is a philosophy grounded in accepting every day reality. While today we often feel the term refers to numbness or emotional suppression, the original Stoics sought to maintain balance between life’s highs and lows.

Here are the 15 key teachings of Epictetus, born a slave in 55 CE.

1) Know what you can control and what you cannot.

2) Make full use of what happens to you.

3) Seeking to please is a perilous trap.

4) Approach life as a banquet.

5) Avoid adopting other people’s negative views.

6) Never suppress a generous impluse.

7) Character matters more than reputation.

8) Self-mastery depends on self-honesty.

9) The virtuous are consistent.

10) Be suspicious of convention.

11) Wisdom is revealed through action, not talk.

12) No shame, no blame.

13) Pursue the good ardently.

14) Treasure your mind, cherish your reason, hold to your purpose.

15) Disregard what doesn’t concern you.