it’s a matter of trying to honestly understand myself. i currently have a license that i got as a teenager, but never, and i mean never drive. i am not good at it, it makes me uncomfortable, i hate going quickly, or making quick important judgment calls as a person in any aspect of my life, and so imagine myself to be a menace on the roads.
i’m no dummy. as a passenger i’ve noticed other poor drivers—they’re either assholes, squirrelly, or oblivious. i’m definitely of the squirrelly variety, from a long, if short-lived, tradition of squirrelly drivers. i’m wondering if this is just something i should know about myself and relax with. something i should stop struggling against, especially when there are so many other modes of transportation available.
on the one hand, i imagine being comfortable driving as almost unbelievably liberating—imagine, i could explore anywhere in a day! i could do more than one errand! i could take myself on a road trip! on the other hand, i hate it, am not good at it, and have avoided accidents so far through luck, not confident skill. it’s not my steering, or gear shifting that sucks, it’s paying attention to more than one thing. i can’t do it. everything goes so fast that i miss signs and people and find myself stunned to be in the middle doing something wrong and then panic. if there were no other drivers, or if i could always drive a tractor, i think things would be different.
where can a girl like me buy a bobcat?