stop pretending that I don't *really* smoke and just actually stop smoking

also of note: boyfriend’s mom in the hospital this weekend, having just been diagnosed with emphysema. smoker since age of 11. if this doesn’t put both of us off smoking for good, we have some serious problems.

broke all the boyfriend’s cloves into pieces, then after some mental self-convincing, did the same to my own. now the real test is to not buy any more, but at over $6 a pack, shouldn’t be too hard. most difficult will be to make sure the boyfriend doesn’t cheat, as he lives 2 hours away and loves to have a smoke with the guys. will be calling him to nag, of course.