get out of depression

abuse is a shit! it gave me low self-esteem. my parents were really authoritarian and controlling. my brother’s a bully. i hate to admit that i was weak. i feel sorry for the child i was with them. still having nightmares about the kind of life i had in our house – the scary faces of the people around me. it feels real. i just dont want to lose the only person that’s important to me. the only person that’s left with me. i can’t afford to lose another person.

depression has destroyed so many things about me. it ended up many relationships incuding friendships. it hinders me from doing the things i want to do. it grabs me down. i cant do the things bec of this. i always hav to worry on how to deal with people. it also hinders me from going to school and it stops me from meeting people. it hurts me. there are so many times that i wish i would just die bec i feel that i’m not a human. it hinders me from mountain climbing, from greeting strangers, it takes away my life. i can’t enjoy being a teen. i can’t enjoy being 18. it stops me from going. it stops me from experiencing things. it stops me from learning things. it’s ruining my life. i hav to get out of this!