be more charismatic

now i’m working in sales over the hols i need to do this at work – i’ll be working hard on it today!

I’m not a natural conversationalist, meeting people is not my thing. It’s not that I don’t like it, just that I’m very reserved and quiet when I first meet people and that sometimes gets interpreted the wrong way and doesn’t give off the best vibe.
My bf has been very patient with me as I’ve met his family and friends. Friends still need work because I’ve only met them once but I get the feeling I didn’t make the greatest impression…

But last night, bf and I, his parents and his brother and his gf all went out for dinner to celebrate my bf’s graduation.
I had already spent the day before with his parents at ther graduation ceremony so I was loosened up and I haven’t felt awkward around the brother the last few times he’s been around.

I was, however, a tiny worried about A) the combination of all 6 ppl being a bit too boggling for me and B) the brother’s gf because she is one of these ‘perfect’ loverly, sweet people whom the family love and she seems like a great person so I would like to get to know her (or at least not come across as a social failure!!!). And everything went fine.
We made conversation, I didn’t sit in silence too often and I managed to find something in particular to talk to each person about, plus even made everyone laugh a few times.
And I came off it on a buzz, feeling really happy and confident. It feels so freeing to be charismatic around them because they are bubbly, non-judgemental people. Plus I actually felt like I fit in and I could see us sitting around the dinner table for many years to come. Wishful thinking I know. But I can dream! And in the mean time I’m making positive advances on the progress of this goal.

so i was REALLY charismatic! Woah… I’m not usually charismatic that early in the morning though… was a bit of a shock to the system :P
Felt good though. Interview went well.

...calls me ‘flamboyant’! I would never have though to apply that word to myself. But we’re getting closer all the time so I suppose he’s starting to see my true colours. Maybe i just hide them away from the rest of the world a little too much…

with my bf where I was completely relaxed and smiling, didn’t think too much about consequences before i said anything (this is one of the problems which prevents my being relaxed and charismatic).
And you could see the difference. We had a good spark and i could tell he was loving the attention and the fact that i wasn’t being my usual reserved self. As much as he’s wonderful and patient with me i know it can be frustrating for him that i get so stand-offish at times.

I love being charismatic, it makes me feel alive and fun, and energised. Just that it’s not automatic, I still have to remind myself it’s something I should keep up.
Anyhow, continual progress- I’m charismatic these days a lot more often than i used to be, even if it’s not automatic yet.

Of course, the wine last night may have had something to do with it… :)

-is part of my job description now – as i’m working in slaes/retail over my summer break. i find it particularly easy when im in my work “role”... just need to work more on translating it into my real life situations.
-this guy i’ve been seeing a bit lately; we get along really well and he knows that i’m a quiet person, but i think i could do with a bit more charisma there… i’m starting to feel a little bit boring, and questioning why he’s still around. i’m seeing him again tomoro – i’m going to be work on being more lively and interesting.

has been particularly hard lately – i’ve been so sleep deprived and dizzy lately when people ask ‘how are you’ it’s all i can do to not start sobbing on their shoulders about how i don’t feel like i’ve slept in 6 months and i have no idea what month it even is! not the type of confident, charismatic stuff i’m aiming for or which people want to hear.
And it’s just that time of year at uni where noone really has any sympathy left anyhow!!
However, the past 2 days i’ve actually felt quite good, and haven’t had a headache – i would really like to see this continue. when i get throught the next 10 days then i have a week of holidays so then i can collapse..
At least rehearsals for grease are keeping me charismatic 2 nights a week; there’s no way i can go to rehearsal, do all that dancing and sing such ridiculous, get-stuck-in-your-head songs without being in a great, friendly mood and wanting to share it with everyone.
I need to keep working on being charismatic and talkative in italian classes for the rest of sememster though if i want that HD. I think that was what made the difference last sememster – you can’t do well in conversation classes if you don’t feel like talking :P go figure

doing better at this one lately – some times i just run out of ammo and it all falls flat, but when it works, it’s great fun! of course it helps to have others who are charismatic to bounce off…

i love the attention you generate from this – it’s such a difference. you turn into a magnet for other charismatic types which is a great help as it gives you something to bounce off from / work with. there are, of course, those days when i’m too quiet/sleepy/can’t be bothered, but i’m fighting it!

i don’t want to turn heads everywhere or be the centre of attention constantly, but i prefer not to be a wallflower… it’s in me to just sit back and be the quiet one who lets things happen so changing this is an active challenge – but an invigorating one! so far i’ve gotten mostly positive results and when i haven’t, i’ve also been trying to learn to laugh at myself :P