Thursday night I had to get up and watch some TV in the middle of the night because I was sobbing so much I couldn’t fall asleep. I keep thinking if I go home and see all my friends everything would be better but really, I don’t think it would. Because I don’t have a job to go to there either and then I wouldn’t be with D, who is being very strong for me.
But last night I mad myself go out for drinks with people from the social group I’ve joined. Even though I’m struggling to go to their events very often, I’ve met a few of the people enough times that they remembered who I was and asked how my job search was going, which was a really nice feeling. There were a few more girls at last night’s drinks as well so maybe I can find some girlfriends there after all.
...with this again. Although I think I”m doing fairly well at the moment.
Basically I’m at home all week while D goes to work and I look for a job. But there’s been plenty to do setting up our new place, looking at jobs and of course watching west wing.
I joined a social group for new people in town and went to one of their weekly catchups on Wed night which turned out to be quite fun. They seem fairly active which is great. Also we seem to be going out with D’s work colleagues once or twice a fortnight.
After we get a TV that will also help :)
D is taking Fridays off from now on so we can actually have a weekend together! That will help a lot.
Playing my favourite music and going out to do some Christmas shopping is helping this week.
Not sure if that is because:
1. I’ve thought about it so much and now I’m making a conscious effort,
2. I’ve had quite a busy week anyhow, or,
3. D and I have finally figured out we’ll be able to move overseas at the same time so I won’t be left here for months without him (I think I was anxious last week in anticipating the loneliness!)
Probably a combination.
Anyhow I’ll keep trying as it seems to be paying off and I have a sneaking suspicion this is the kind of feeling that would creep up on you when you’re not actively trying to ward it off…
I’m finding this very challenging in the past 2 weeks.
I moved out of home and into a share place with 2 girls (who I don’t see much of) and I suppose I’m just spending a lot more time on my own since I have Thursday & Friday off with my roster. I’ve never been very good at being alone with my own thoughts.
I am actually going out and seeing friends quite regularly but as soon as I get home I just feel lonely again.
I’ve been trying to keep busy with cooking but I can only eat so much!
Need to get back into the habit of reading & watching movies… I don’t really do much of that.
Plan for tomorrow:
-get some groceries
-go for a long walk/exercise
-do some of that admin/ changing addresses that has been hanging around
-wash dress I wore to the wedding
-wash my hair ready for the ball on saturday
-finish reading current book
-see D in the evening