apteryx in San Francisco is doing 31 things including…

Share insights about how to use 43Things to best advantage, how it can be an aid to accomplishment, not a distraction

4 cheers

 

apteryx has written 6 entries about this goal

Announcing a goal reduces your motivation to follow through 3 months ago

Watch out:
Announcing your plans makes you less motivated to accomplish them.

Short version: When you talk about your goal, you feel like you’ve accomplished it, and so you are less motivated to take specific actions to really accomplish it.

A remedy for this on 43T is to post progress reports frequently. That is, do something specific, and tell how it went. Make posting progress reports the thing you’re addicted to, not posting goals or banter.

I find progress reports to be the most interesting reading on 43T. They’re concrete. They tell what it’s like to actually go after a goal: the times of uncertainty and what you did to get past them, the unexpected obstacles, the unexpected successes, the idiosyncratic things that you notice and probably most people wouldn’t.

Another thing to get addicted to is marking goals complete.



How to make use of 43things 6 months ago

Here is how to get a lot of value out of 43things.

1 Post a few goals.

Start by posting a few specific, concrete goals that you can achieve. They might be goals that take a long time to achieve or a short time, but they should be specific and achievable by you.

Here are some specific goals:

Sometimes people post broad political goals, like getting someone elected or getting a law passed or getting their whole society to think a certain way. These really don’t give you much benefit because you can’t achieve them. They are way out of your control. However, you can draw upon the urge that leads you to think of those kinds of goals and convert them into something specific and achievable: canvass for a certain candidate in a certain election, volunteer at a specific organization, preach on a street corner, write an article about the topic and get it published, write your congressman, etc. Goals like these are easy to convert into action of the kind that makes you feel good very quickly, as well as generates achievable results.

Another kind of goal that is seldom useful is the vague, improve my life sort of goal. Some examples:

If you can translate a vague goal into specific action that you really do, great. But if it doesn’t lead you to action, it’s probably not giving you much use. These sorts of goals are traps, luring you into patting yourself on the back for having good intentions but not really doing anything that you find fulfilling.

2 Look around and see what other people are doing.

I’ve found much joy and inspiration in reading other people’s goals and their progress (mostly from the specific ones; the vague ones usually are dull to read). Seeing what other people are doing gives you ideas for wonderful things you could do.

Here are some ways to see what other people are doing:

  • Zeitgeist
  • The bottom of every 43things page has a bunch of randomly selected goals.
  • Look at people’s home pages and read their lists of goals. Every active goal page has a link to the home pages of people doing the goal or who have done it.
  • If you find someone whose goals look interesting to you, click the “Recent Activity” link on their home page (up by their name).
  • Subscribe to people whose posts and goals you find interesting, and check your subscription page occasionally. To subscribe, go to their home page and click the “Subscribe” link (near “Recent Activity”).

3 Cheer some other people’s goals and progress posts. Post comments.

When you cheer other people’s posts, pretty soon they start cheering you back. And then you fall naturally into a social network of helpful people with compatible goals. This is where 43things becomes something more than you can get by writing goals on a sheet of paper (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

When you post comments to other people’s progress posts, that’s when you start making friends.

4 Do actions that lead to fulfilling your goals.

This is the most important thing. It’s more important than completing the goals.

Really, you don’t need 43things for this. 43things is only a helper for taking this kind of action. If your participation on 43things doesn’t lead to your taking action that brings you fulfillment in the present, then either you’re misusing it or maybe 43things is not a good fit for you.

When you take action toward something meaningful to you, you tend to feel good right away. The good feeling doesn’t wait until the goal is achieved.

When you just post about goals without taking action, though, you tend not to feel much.

5 Post progress about your goals.

Take this seriously. Gather your thoughts and write a paragraph or so that says something specific and says it clearly and grammatically. Much of the benefit of this site is the way writing a short, coherent message for others to read leads you naturally to compose and clarify your thoughts.

Describe concrete steps that you took and the results that you got. Tell how you felt before, during, and after taking action. Of course, to have progress to post, you’ll need to take action (see above). It’s a wonderful feeling to mark a goal completed!

Progress posts are good place to post little tasks that are steps along the way to a meaningful goal. For example, if you have a goal of cooking an Indian feast, you might need to vacuum the house, clean the kitchen, buy an Indian cookbook, and go to the grocery store. Those are all good things to mention in a post, but probably not so exciting as goals in themselves.

Another useful kind of progress post is to describe the goal in more detail than can fit into the title of a goal. This both clarifies your thoughts and purposes, and helps other people understand what you’re doing and why it’s meaningful to you.

6 Kid around.

Part of the social support provided by 43things results from kidding around. People post frivolous goals and engage in banter and generally spread good cheer.

7 Look over your list and update it.

You may notice after a few months that you have done nothing on some of your goals. Some of them may no longer excite you. Some of them, you may have completed. All of these are good.

If you have no progress to post, then you might either give up on the goal or take action on it today. Or just leave it. Not all goals have to generate action right now to be valuable. Even an unachievable goal can be fruitful. But to make best use of your time on this site, your 43things goals should be leading you to take some sort of constructive, fulfilling action every single day (even if that action is just getting some rest).

If you have 43 goals, you probably have too many.



Info and banter 2 years ago

There are two main kinds of posts on 43things: info about people’s progress toward their goals, and meaningless banter.

I think a key to making the most of 43things is to choose a balance between the two. Banter helps create friendship and enjoyment and build your social network, but I think the value runs out pretty quickly, it can consume a lot of time, and can ultimately distract you from doing anything real. Info about people’s progress toward their goals can be really valuable, both to write and to read, for all sorts of reasons. I’ve found these posts most useful when they’re very concrete.

Iron Man’s posts on how he built an addition to his blacksmith’s shop gave me inspiration and some sense of how much work is involved in a project like that. Rusty’s protégéesuggested Potrero Hill as a place to look for apartments in San Francisco, and that’s where I ended up moving, for precisely the reasons she recommended it. davidd’s post about doing sit-ups definitely gave some perspective, especially the contrast with many other people’s much happier posts. These posts aren’t from exercise gurus or fanatics, they’re just from regular people trying to stay in shape, and are consequently much more realistic and helpful.

Mostly, though, it helps me stay motivated when I’m planning to post about my progress and hopefully get cheered. Imagining writing the post before I get started helps me actually get started. There is a kind of internal resistance to getting started on a goal even when we really, really want it. Publicly declaring the goal and publicly posting about it, and actually having other people care enough to click “Cheer this post”, helps a lot toward overcoming that resistance.

I think that about 80% progress info and 20% banter or other conversation works best for me. And of course I cheer as many other people’s progress posts as I can!



To-do-list magic 2 years ago

Barbara Sher mentions “to-do-list magic” in one of her books: writing a list of stuff you want to get done, as if that will make it happen. It doesn’t work. The only thing that makes stuff happen is actually doing it.

Possible solution to “post it on 43things instead of really doing it”: make sure you’re both posting goals and marking them complete (or at least posting real progress) on a regular basis, like once a week. I’ve had some success with a once-weekly scheduled time with a friend to go over goals and progress. Or once-hourly for a serious boost! (Yes, I’ve done that, and it really worked.)



Get sick of it 3 years ago

Here’s a way to kick the habit of checking 43things too much: do absolutely nothing but play on 43things for three days solid. Put your work and the rest of your life on hold, and above all, don’t do anything toward completing any of your goals aside from read and write about them on 43things. Put your willpower into staying on 43things, not staying away from it.

Exception: achieving goals involving 43things is ok, like cheering Rodrugg or taking pictures and Photoshopping them for hours before posting them to 43things.

At some point, you will really not want to play on 43things anymore. The very thought will make you sick. But you must press on past that point, until you actually become sick. Then you will be cured.



Cheer addiction 3 years ago

Giving and receiving cheers has made me feel wonderful, but it’s also turned into an addiction. Cheers have a classic addiction pattern that one of my math professors told me about recently, in regard to checking email: similar to playing slot machines, you get a blast of pleasure when you check 43t and you find new cheers, but you don’t get that blast of pleasure each time. Inconsistent positive feedback leads a lot of animals, including humans, to become obsessed and addicted, much more so than consistent positive feedback.

I fell particularly deeply into this addiction while achieving this goal. Every day, I’d check the site over and over again to see if I’d gotten more cheers. I have no regrets, but it made me a cheer junkie, and now it’s time for rehab.

To recover, I am going to use one of the time-management principles that’s served me best: whatever you do first in the day, you are sure to get to. So I’m going to do various short-term tasks during the morning, and only hit 43t after accomplishing something.



apteryx has gotten 4 cheers on this goal.

 

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