stay calm

very calm at home with my kids, but noticing a dramatic change at work. I seem to react much more philosophically to events that would formerly have provoked me to some emotion. Not sure if I am yet behaving neutrally at those times, though…and I would like to show the calm and philosophical response to those I love most, of course.

that I haven’t lost my temper in a while because I did almost did so tonight. My son remembers how I “popped my cork” on Christmas eve, and reminds me of it; I assure him that after that night I realized I should take my responsibility to him more seriously.

Or as my son would say, “popped my cork.” It’s funny that when I told my therapist about it, she said, “Well, nobody’s perfect.” I had to laugh…I said, “isn’t [the angry episode I had] the kind of thing my kids might tell to THEIR therapists someday?” She just laughed in a noncommittal friendly way…I guess they are entitled to their therapy time, it would be pretty hard for me to be such a good parent they wouldn’t have any reasons to go! (and if I were that perfect, they would probably go because they felt inferior)

I had a whole controlled conversation with a person at work, whose orientation is not so much team- as him-centered…he wanted me to do something I did not feel I should agree to do…I was assertive and I was calm!

This therapy business seems to be helpful after all.

I’m noticing I seem to be doing more of this, especially with my kids. But it’s like ice cream…I want to take it even further, do it even more. Persistence and calm seem to do more than any emotional response ever could, really for my self-esteem rather than the external results.