stop seeking the approval of others

I really just don’t care anymore and I think that the real me is starting to show through. I am doing more things that I like to do and not worrying about what affect it might have on how people think of me. damn is feels good to be a gangsta.

yep, i am giving up my sick fasination with hardcore music since i only started liking it when i found out brian liked it. i am over it but i don’t feel bad. it mostly all sucks anyway. :) however, i still like throwdown and dave peters rules.

I met someone that makes me remember who I am and I love it. I am going to keep him around for as long as I can.

The other night I had a dream that I was on a bus that was full of loudass boys but I got off before the bus left. I decided to look up what it means to dream about being on a bus, this is what I got…

To dream that you are riding a bus, implies that you are going along with the crowd. You are lacking originality and are taking no control over where your life is taking. [Since I got off the bus before it left implies that I am breaking away from the crowd.]

I guess that is a good sign. :]

Tonight while making dinner with a friend some “friends” stopped by. everyone was talking about the situation of the wal mart in our town [you see, they are trying to expand an excising wal mart into a super wal mart but are having trouble because the land they wish to use for the expansion is home to an endangered species of weed]. I despise wal mart already and I don’t think they should be allowed to expand but the “friends” think otherwise. normally I would not have voiced my opinion but for some strange reason tonight i just came right out with it. I said it is not fair to kill an endangered species just so wal mart can make a buck. They pretty much got mad and left, it made me happy and proud of myself at the same time. :)

What are some things I can do to get over this??? I though I was doing well but I have turned back to my old ways. HELP ME! :)

Yesterday I was told:
I like strange music
I have odd beahior
I keep odd habits

I told the jerk telling me that that I don’t have to defend myself or my actions to him. I think I am getting better at this one.

...but I think I am starting to make a little bit of progress here. :)

it is time to start doing thing to make myself haooy, not others. especially others that don’t give a crap. :)