get over him

He called me while I was away visiting my sister, and said that he wanted to be my boyfriend. And asked me if I’d be his girlfriend again, I said I wasn’t sure and that we’d talk about it later.

Well I agreed to go to dinner with him on Saturday night, and we had a great time, he looked fabulous and made me smile soo much my cheeks hurt. It seemed like the good ol times and I liked it that way.

On Sunday I agreed to come over and wake him up, and decided that I’d make him breakfast. So I did. And that was nice, then we ended up playing basketball together, going fishing, and went to dinner again. It seemed like him and I together…time goes by so freakin fast. It was fun though.

We eventually talked, and I told him that I missed him too. He then said, “be my girlfriend again then.” And I agreed to, but I made him pinky swear that he really wanted to be with me and work it out. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and I hope that it works out the way that I want it too.

Anyways, thanks to everybody on here that has supported me. I’ll come on here again and lend you my advice. Keep in touch! and all of you keep your head up, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I promise

god bless you all

Ashley

He called last night…twice.

We just pretty much just argued, and I said I was done. That he was rude. And me exact word were…

“I have given you space, I have changed myself to be better for you and us (cause I really was a prude) anyways, I have put up with enough bullshit from you to last a life time. I have gone through hell waiting for you to get your “space” and now I’m tired of it. It would be different if you were actually nice when you call…but in the future I don’t want you to call unless you have something nice to say.”

And I waited for him to reply…but it sounded like he was watching the TV instead of listening to me.

And I said, “Did you just hear anything or said, or am I still wasting my breath?”

And he replied, “I garentee that I heard everything that you said. I have heard it like 10 Times now I get it.”

and I said, “yea you get it but you won’t change. I can’t be the only one to change, Your mean and hurtful. ANd i can’t keep going on like this!”

and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m running out of reasons to be mad at you.”

I don’t know what that means?? But his way of getting over me is to sit and make me sad, and be mean to me, so he knows that its affecting me. I’m tired of it. I have run out of my patience. There’s no excuse. I care about him very much but I deserve better than this! Seriously! anyways…thats where I’m at right now. I think I’m not going to answer his calls for a while.

any advice is appreciated.

Ashley

He done pissed me off to the extent that I NEVER want to be with him again.

This girl he’s only “hanging out” with, somehow found out that we have had sex sense they’ve been “together” and that he still calls me, loves me, ect…well he calls me all pissed off telling me to get it straight with the person that was telling her all of that, because it made her cry.

Well…

1. We have had sex 4 times within the last 3 weeks

2. He doesn’t care when I cry…obviously he gets satisfaction out of it.

3. He even had the nerve to say that they aren’t going out…she’s not his girlfriend…and that I am being irrational.

Conclusion to this:

I said…I want out of this mess. If he wants a happy ending, with me being there for him, at his graduation than he’ll do the right thing. I said I was beautiful, caring, and always supportive of him and I wanted a MAN not a BOY who doesn’t know what he wants.

Then he said…”I’ll talk to about this later..I’m out with my friends beatin’.”

and I said theres no use.

and that was the end of that.

The old me would of cried and told him…”I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you are doing this.”

The new me…stuck up for myself and what I really want. I have been so afraid to move on with my life without him, I forgot to stick up for myself. And care about myself. I have so many people who love, and respect me. Great family and friends. There is no reason for me to get sad over him for long. Fuck him and his little white lies, and bullshit. I’m over it. I will always miss him. But I’m done moping around about it. Life goes on, and there is somebody out there that will love me for me. And won’t ever do this to me. He’s messing with my head, and I’m not letting it get to me any longer.

I’m not over him yet…but I have a feeling I will be shortly. Life is going to be great without him. I’m on the way to getting over him.

I AM BETTER THAN HE WILL EVER BE. People told me that all the time, “Ashley you deserve sooo much better.” or “why are you with him, I pictured you with someone better.” Love was blind and I didn’t realize it. Life is going to be great without him. Now I’m just glad that I’m single and ready to mingle.

I will give an update shortly.

Tonight if he calls I’m going to purposely be on the phone so i won’t be able to talk to him. He really needs to see life without me. And he never will as long as he keeps fucking up like he is.

I just hope he gets it. I guess I just want him to want me back so I have CONTROL rather than him having all the control. I’m done, the end. Time to move on.

Ashley

So he calls me every night..but today, or last night, or this morning I realized that…

1. He’s not good enough for me

2. I don’t think I ever want to get back together with him so why am I having such a hard time getting over him.

3. That he’s playing games- So i forfit. I’m letting him win, and I’m gone.

4. I’m not going to answer his phone calls. Because all he does is say things i did wrong. like monday he called to say, “How come you couldn’t just laugh, and smile and be happy with me?” and I said, “because I obviously wasn’t very happy, but I’m sorry. If I had known that it was going to turn out like this I would of!” And he said, “well its to late now.” and then we kept talking and he said, “Your a demon, your always so mean.” And I said, “your the devil. So I guess that means we are a match made in hell.” and I laughed about it for like 5 minutes. So that means that I am pretty much over it. Also although he says (yells) that he “doesn’t have a new girlfriend!!!” He’s with her all the time. And she thinks its serious.

5. I think it’s wrong that he wants me to wait for him. If you really love somebody you don’t want to make them wait…you want to be with that person. I realize that we do care for each other we just couldn’t get along.

6. Also, I believe that if he and I could just duke it out, (literally) that we would be fine. And thats not healthy.

7. I met somebody online- that I think has real potential. He’s older, funny, cute…makes me laugh. And I think that I could really like him. He lives here. So I am going to see where that road may take me.

8. He just isn’t worth it anymore.

9. He lies, you don’t lie to people that you love. (Even though he won’t admitt that he is lying.

10. How is can replace me so easily in his life. I realize now that, he never really cared for me. And its time for me to move on.

Although I have not completely gotten “over him” which i don’t think I ever will…he was my first love. I know now that I am defenately making progress, and nothing he can say or do now can hurt me anymore than he already has, so go right ahead.

I also realize that love is blind. And I am starting to notice his down falls, and I’m ready to get on with my life…and learn what really matters. And thats ME. So I think that I am in a good place.

I’m going to be going to NC to see my sister and her fiance, and I think he’s going to have a hard time with that. I also think that it will sink in that i’m really “gone” when I don’t attend his graduation or graduation party.

He’s moving to where I live in 3 Months…if after that time we really genuinely care about each other and want to make it work…we will. Otherwise my life WILL go on without him. And i’m so glad that my prayers have finally been answered. I’m still not over him. But making progress

He called me last night. I was sleeping and didn’t hear my phone ring. He call twice before I heard the phone, and picked it up.

He asked me some really random questions. Then he told me all the things that I didn’t do in the relationship that he wanted me to do. Like; I didn’t pay attention to him, I didn’t play with his hair, I didn’t want to have sex (which is completely untrue), I didn’t make him feel special even though I was totally capable of doing so. That I was capable of making him happy and I chose not to.

So FINALLY. I got what I wanted from him. I finally figured out what it is that I did wrong. Rather than blaming everything on him, even though I thought it would be easier to get over him if I didn’t think that he actually had a rhyme or reason for not wanting me back. But he actually has his reasons…and now I know that he must wish that I had been different. And, I know now that I should change.

Anyways, I thought that was interesting. Does anybody have an idea as to why he might of done that? Just randomly call me a bunch to tell me everything…did he just break down and realize that he needed to tell me those things. Or was it just an excuse to talk to me? Or…did he feel like he needed to tell me those things to get over me? I dunno. No to remind everyone if you haven’t been reading my excerpts, he wants to get back together in “a month.” So i’m not really sure what to think. Any advice? Let me know

Ashley

Well. On Sunday night I told E. That we could know longer ‘see’ each other, unless he was ready to fully re-commit to me. I told him that he can have this week to think and we’ll either work things out this weekend, or end them all for good.

Well…last night some guy kept calling me telling me that “he’s watching me.” This strange guy has done it on Sunday too. Well anyways, I asked the guy, “excuse me but what is your problem? I have no Idea who the hell you are. So can you please leave me alone.” He then says, “I’m going to hurt you, because hurting you is the only way that I can hurt E. (my ex) I replied, “We’re broken up!” And the guy said…”that doesnt matter, I’m going to kidnap you and his truck, then he’ll be left without the 2 things he cares about most.” So i was like “ok, your crazy…I’m calling the police.

Once the police came they looked around my apartment, my covered parking spot and didn’t see anything. they said that they will check back every night around 10:00 PM cause thats when the guy usually calls. They told me not to worry, he probably just wants to scare you and “your boyfriend” a little bit.

Anyways, so I was scared, I wondered what E. had done to this guy to make him want to come after me. So I gave him a call, cause I was pretty scared. Well he answered the phone. And he seemed excited to talk to me…and I asked him how he was and just right when I was about to tell him what was going on, he said, “I gotta go I’m on the phone! I’ll call you back later.” At this point it was about 10:15 PM and you aren’t just talking to a “friend” that late. He must of been talking to another girl.

So I’m afraid to say it but I think that his decision to be with me is negative. Unless he was telling this girl he wasn’t interested in her…which I highly doubt. I’m just glad that I’m prepared for the worst this weekend. He has devestated me one to many times. I know that he cares. And I know it gets tyering trying over and over to make something work that just won’t. Thats why I have given him a whole month and a half to run around and have a great time. But when you really care about somebody you shouldn’t have to..

Anyways I am meeting him this weekend, what should I say? Any ideas? Please help! Welp, I will talk to you all later.

Ashley

Wednesday Night I got pretty tipsy at this purse party, (its like a naughty lady party except with really awesome purses, like, gucci, luis V, prada, coach, ect. Well on my way home from there I decided to call me ex. I was happy and cheerful. Excited to talk to him. He was pre-occupied so he said that he would call me back. So in my drunken stuper I manage to make it to my apartment, gloat to my roomate about the great deal I got on this new prada purse, and tell her my whole life story. Totally thinking full well that he’s not going to call me back. Well he did. We talked for a while. He asked me if I still “liked him,” and got sad when I said that I was tired of hoping that we would get back together. He then preceaded to say, that he “still cares about me,” and still likes me. We eventually hung up the phone…on good terms of course.

Thursday night we agreed that we were going to chit-chat, because I felt like he wasn’t being respectful with my feelings or my heart. I didn’t know when he said that he’d call me. Well Friday night around 9 pm. He called and asked me if I wanted to go and get some late night dinner, so I agreed to get some ice cream. At dinner, he was asking me if I wanted to go to Ohio with him, even though when we were together for 2 years he never wanted me to go with him, and when i mentioned that he said. “If you were nicer, I would like you a lot more. You said you’d be nice.” and I just tried to change the subject. He then asked me if I would go to disneyland with him. And I changed the subject. He kept searching for signs that would show him how I feel about him, but I litterally couldn’t bring myself to say that I still love you. I miss you ect.

So, we went for a walk…sat down, and he started rubbing my feet, and my face. Trying to get me to kiss him, and I kept pushing him away. I asked him if he missed me, and he said “sort of.” So finally, I said that “it was time to go.” And he got a little irritated. But I didn’t care. Then when I got out of his truck, he was being a little bit rude, and I said I thought you cared, and he said well…”I don’t.” And sped away. So I was like ok…whatever.

Saturday morning his Aunt and Grandma took me to breakfast which was nice. They are irritated with him because they know that he can’t get any better. They think he’s really going to regret it once I do get over it. But, I can’t help but have this feeling that we’ll work it out. Is that wrong to feel?

On Sunday he called before I left to drive back to where I’m going to college and we had lunch. And hung out, but this time I let him kiss me…and much more. I know now that I’m never going to do that.

So this weekend, I’m going to this dance thing with my hometowns ultimate rivals high school, because an old friend was nominated for prom king, and doesn’t have a date. So i agreed to go with him. E. told me if I go to that he’ll be really mad. But he needs to KNOW that i’m not going to let him control me any longer. and I think it will be the perfect way to show him, my life is going to be fine without you in it. Well there it is. Any advice on the situation will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks’
Ashley

Well…

My ex called me friday night and said that he almost died out routin’ his truck that night. Then preceded to ask if he had died would I had wished that I had treated him different and would i be sad…

I replied, “of course I would be sad.” “And yea I would of wanted things to be different, but at the same time, how would you feel if I died, and you were treating me the way that you are treating me right now?”

and he said, “Oh, stop it, that’s never going to happen.” and the conversation ended there about that.

He then said he had some questions for me but he had forgotten them. and said that he would talk to me later. and that was the end of that.

He then called me saturday after his baseball game to let me know that they had one. (Saturday was also the day for his prom back in my hometown) and preceded to ask me how he should wear his hair, or if he should wear a hat. I said to wear a hat.

I don’t get it…why is he calling me every night if he doesn’t want to be with me? I mean…each time we talk he gets angry with me because “i’m different” and I do the things that he likes when we aren’t together. I just wish things were different and it takes everything that I have not to be whinny, mean and condicending to him…even though I REALLY want to be. I don’t know if I should just stop answering his calls. But I like it that he calls. Now that i’m saying this he’ll probably stop calling…lol. anyways, any advice would be appreciated, I just wish that I could figure him out. It hurts. But I’m starting to be happy without him-just being me. What do you guys think? any help would be appreciated. thanks!

Ashley

He’s called me every night this week. And it drives me nuts because he’s going to prom on Saturday with some other girl…and he called me to tell me that he got his tux. And if the place he is going to dinner really expensive. Then he asked if I would drive to all the way back home so I could take the tux off for him. Why would he do this? Oh and he asked me (sinse he is moving here in the summer) if i could look for places for him to live next year..for him. I don’t really understand. It drives me nuts that he does this. It seems like he’s just making up excuses to call me, and then he wants to get off the phone. I gotta figure a way to get the upper hand here. We’ll see. any advice is appreciated.

Ashley

So I woke up this morning running late for work as usual. I jumped into the shower and quickly got ready, shinning on putting on my make-up. I had to contain my gag reflex brushing my teeth because my stomach is soo upset, I can’t even move properly. I just kept remembering my dream. The passed couple of weeks I’ve been dreaming about how me and my ex are still together but he’s cheating on me. The same dream over and over except a different girl every time. Well last night it was a little different…and I can’t shake this dream, it felt way too real…

E. Called me and asked if I want to go to lunch, relunctantly I accepted and we wen’t to a nice little Japanesse restaurant, He had Sushi, and I had a Terreaki Chicken rice bowl. We sad and talked like old times. He then insisted that we go for a walk. On the walk, he took me to the place where he carved mine and his initials (you know A.S. + E.T. with a heart around it- which that did happen in real life) anyways, he took me there and told me that he was sorry for everything, he couldn’t imagine hurting me any longer. That he missed me, and he is soo sorry for the hurtful things he has said and done. And that he can’t believe that he was willing to let somebody like me go. So I started crying…happy tears of course. And I took him back.- This dream felt sooo real it was crazy…I know that it probably won’t ever happen, but I don’t understand how I could go from dreaming about him cheating to that. Within one nights time.

Before I fell asleep last night, he did call. He wanted to see if I was still thinking about going with somebody to prom. (not his prom, a town about 7 miles away from his HS and my old HS) and I said that I wasn’t really sure. ( I’m not going to go to prom anywhere I just want to get a rise out of him.) He then tries to justify him taking another girl to prom. He says, I’m not even taking her out to dinner, my parents aren’t even taking pictures, I’m not even getting her a corsage. And I was like why even go then? But I just old him that it’s not fair for him to try and control my actions and behavior, when he’s behaving completely irational. Its a complete double standard.

E. was defenately raised in a family where the man was the head honcho. He was pushed into be the primo sports player, and the athletic scholar. He never has time really to just enjoy life with his father badgering him constantly. His dad is very controlling and hurtful with his words.
Well I come from a family where the mom rules the roost. She is the man of the house, and what she says go. and more commonly than not, I think woman do hold most of the power. Well thats why him and I butt heads so much is because he wants to be in control, and I was raised where no man is ever going to control me. Or make decisions for me. Well he’s like that

anyways, I continue to tell him that his actions don’t just affect him anymore, they are are affecting other people too. I told him, that if he really wants to be with me soon, he’s going to have to look around and make some decisions because i’m not jumping back into a serious relationship with somebody who just wants to boss me around all the time. I told him that, He’s not just hurting me anymore, he’s hurting another girl in just a matter of time. And this girl has no idea whats going on, except she thinks its sooo cool that she’s going to prom with one of the most popular seniors and she’s a freshman. I just don’t see how he could be so not understanding with me, and expects me to understand where he is coming from.

Basically what I’m wondering is if I really still want to be with him, or am I just wanting to be with him so I don’t have to be sad anymore…and I don’t want to go through all of this again.

I mean, what are the survival rates of first loves anyways? I mean I know a few of my friends parents, but now a whole lot. I guess I’ll just have to follow my heart, although it’s feeling a little bit cloudy :S