lose wieght

my belly is getting so big. i cant fit into any of my clothes especially my dresses.
i just look let go and i dont know who this is this is not like me to look like this and not take care of myself.

i am too worried i know that i have so much on my mind to even think about my needs right now but it is so unfair for i am so unhappy.

the past two days i have been eating like a pig i just dont care any more.
i just need to hold on this is so hard for me.
i just dont want to do things dishonest i want to do it the honest way.

my husband came back this morning at 4am and before going to work he looked at me and said i look like i lost weight which now that i am looking at myself i will go home and wiegh in the see if i really did my legs are looking really good this morning.

i weighed myself to day i was 190 pounds last week and today i am 188 pounds. saturday august 28-2005
i feel sad right now for every thing seems hard but i know it will get better

Well i start the adventure 2004 September at 190 pounds, joined a university track team and could stay for i did not have child care. worked out at home dropped to 183 in december moved then joined a gym in january and dropped to 173 March 18. Since then i have started to put the pounds back on because i stopped caring about myself. now today 08-19-05 i am 190 again. and missing the old me.