I finally read this book a couple of weeks ago. The main points are pretty simple:
1. Most women are socialized to be reluctant negotiators on their own behalf, and to perceive “rules” as more inflexible than they are.
2. Most people are socialized to treat women who negotiate more harshly than men, both by being more unyielding and by perceiving the woman negatively after the negotiation.
3. This results in disadvantages for women, both in their relationships and their careers; in particular, a decent portion of the gender pay gap can be attributed to the effect of #1 and #2 on initial salaries, which compounds over time.
One thing that pleasantly surprised me was that the book didn’t put all the onus on women; there are rational reasons that women are reluctant to negotiate, and the problem wouldn’t be solved if women just overcame this reluctance. At the same time, though, it did provide advice for women who want to be better at negotiating. The nugget that I took from it is that a woman’s likability is crucial to her negotiating position, much more so than for a man, and so the most effective strategy is to be extremely friendly and pleasant without being tentative or self-effacing.
