tell 43 things about me

Aimee reminded me of this entry, which seems so weird and long-ago now. I wanted to see how different this goal turns out now – fun for a procrastinatory Friday!

1. I’m into learning and mental workouts. When I’m not doing those things, I feel like I’m dead.
2. I love going to see bands at small, cool clubs and dread the day when I’m too old for it.
3. I like to think that the reason I’m sad when a band I like gets popular is that they will never play the venues I like anymore, and not because I am a jackass indie snob. The truth is probably a little of both.
4. I’m pretty generous with my cash, a little less so with my time.
5. I’m less about the benjamins than most people I know.
6. But more than I once thought I was.
7. I studied French very seriously for a very long time, but with the goal of reading literature rather than getting by in Francophone countries.
8. And to this day, my grammar is excellent and my conversational abilities laughable.
9. I’m trying to get better at Spanish, which I’m much less shy about speaking despite (because of?) my perfunctory knowledge.
10. I don’t really enjoy Law and Order: SVU anymore, but I keep watching partly because I’m in love with Mariska and Chris, and partly because it’s cozy and familiar and the one show that I like and my husband doesn’t.
11. I don’t really care if my science is that great, but I cry if one of my articles goes to press with an obvious spelling or grammar mistake.
12. This is because I have internalized the judgment of my relatives, living and dead, none of whom (except my sister) are scientists but all of whom have impeccable spelling and grammar. Even though none of them will ever read my articles beyond the abstract.
13. I don’t have problems with clutter, spending, substance abuse, or organization.
14. I have minor problems with overeating and serious problems with time management, the Internet, and procrastination.
15. I successfully switched to decaf about 6 months ago when I realized that caffeine’s positive effects were all in my head and the negative effects were keeping me up at night. I am now just as addicted to decaf as I was to caffeinated.
16. I no longer wish I could switch to tea, because all the cool kids gave up and switched back to coffee anyway. Hah!
17. Plus, I like to think I’m an unfussy girl, and it doesn’t get unfussier than paying $1 for a cup of joe and drinking it black.
18. I still have no idea what to do with my life.
19. But I am totally looking forward to my professor gig!
20. I’m ambivalent about doing research, and my feelings about it are completely inextricable from fluctuations in self-confidence.
21. When I was 14, I became boy-crazy for the first and possibly only time in my life and made an ordered list of the 7 or so boys I liked.
22. I then dated the #1 guy for 2 years and the #2 guy for…oh my, are we really up to 10?
23. #3 is now a Wall Street douchebag (I think), so I’m hoping #2 lasts :)
24. Don’t let #22 fool you – I am not hot. Just determined :)
25. I am unhealthily paranoid about driving on a flat tire without knowing it. I did actually do this once, too, and there’s nothing worse than a slightly substantiated paranoia.
26. The right passenger door of my car is busted. I have actually fucked it up on 2 separate occasions, which to my mind justifies not paying to fix it. But it’s starting to rust where the paint chipped off, so sadly, I will have to do something about it. See? Unfussy.
27. On the other hand, I am fussy about my shoes. You will find me leaving the house in crappy flip-flops once a month tops.
28. I’m addicted to the feminist blogosphere.
29. Overhearing other people’s conversations makes my skin crawl and makes me absolutely crazy. And yet I ride the bus sans iPod.
30. I worry a lot. And then I worry that I’m turning into my mom, who worries a lot.
31. I’m still proud of my wedding, which was the cheapest “traditional” wedding ever, but you would never guess it.
32. The dress was $75. Tax included. The shoes were $6.
33. Quite a few of my good friends from back home have moved to the place I live now, and it makes me spectacularly happy every time.
34. I’m trying to take more responsibility for myself rather than just complaining. It’s quite a project.
35. Someone I knew in high school got famous in the past few years, which is weird but mostly AWESOME.
36. I have never owned or used a curling iron. Unfussy!
37. On the other hand, my toenails are always painted.
38. I met my oldest friend in first grade. We were sitting next to each other in class when the teacher said, “Clear your desks”...and we made fun of people who still had their elbows on the table. Not much has changed.
39. About one time in three, I have real problems getting those produce bags to open at the grocery store. My fingers are not moist enough, or too moist, or something.
40. I can’t and won’t dance unless I’ve had like 5 drinks. And then I will dance, but probably still can’t.
41. The thing I hate most about grad school, at least the project I work on, is how easy it is to go for long periods of time without talking to anybody. I think that’s why I’m wary of research labs.
42. I have eyelashes growing out of the inside corners of my eyes, and it freaks me out.
43. I’m not persistent enough.

Thanks for inviting me and all, but it was really depressing.

1. I love animals
2. But I’ve never had a pet
3. I don’t know how to act around kids
4. I love fashion
5. But don’t spend much money on it
6. And don’t care about my appearance very much – I mean, I don’t leave the house looking like shit, but I don’t spend a lot of time agonizing over how to improve things
7. When my husband and I cook, I chop and measure everything but don’t usually use the oven or stove. I really don’t like the oven and I don’t like it when stuff sizzles on the stove.
8. When I was 6, the house next to ours burned down when a firecracker landed on its wood-shingled roof.
9. My mom is now engaged to the guy who lives in that house (2 owners after the fire).
10. I officially burned out 4.5 years ago.
11. Even though I was skinny as a kid, I couldn’t run for shit.
12. When I grew up, I wanted to be either a novelist or a chess grandmaster. Or both.
13. Now I’m trying to be a professor, but I’ve pretty much given up on that too.
14. When I was a kid, I gave all my Barbie dolls first and last names and invented complex familial relationships. I had forgotten this until my husband discovered some incriminating evidence at my family’s house over the holidays this year.
15. I think there might well be a God, but it’s not worth doing anything differently over.
16. I love games and puzzles.
17. I have no living male relatives with my last name. So I kept it when I got married.
18. I don’t eat mammals.
19. I once had to explain to a famous comedian that I don’t eat mammals, but do eat chicken, fish, reptiles, etc.
20. I can’t decide if I want to be buried or cremated
21. I think it’s important that I decide #20.
22. I like introducing people to new music.
23. My greatest fear is that someone could tell everything about me just by looking; in other words, being a stereotype.
24. I want to be like the cool kids and switch to tea, but I …just…can’t…quit…coffee.
25. I get irrationally angry at male blowhards. Don’t know why.
26. I’m a pretty courteous driver, but am too vengeful against drivers whom I have deemed discourteous.
27. I quit saying “y’all” for a year when I moved to A Snooty Coastal Place so that people wouldn’t think I was an idiot, but then said fuck it.
28. Now I’ve got my (non-US-native) Ph.D. advisor saying “y’all”, because I convinced him it was a politically correct alternative to “you guys.” And you haven’t lived until you’ve heard a dude with an outrageous non-US accent say “y’all” and mean it.
29. Everyone in my family looks super-young. This is slightly annoying now, in my mid-twenties, but is about to be pretty awesome.
30. The last time I was single was October 8-17, 1998.
31. Before that, it was September somethingth, 1996. Damn.
32. But a lot of that time was spent in mid- to long-distance relationships, so I had my space.
33. My drinks of choice are Bloody Marys and mojitos
34. But I don’t drink much anymore
35. Not having a clean house bothers me more than it should
36. I hate answering my cell phone.
37. I love college football but not the NFL
38. I used to think it would be funny to adopt twins and name them Koala and Kahlua
39. I used to have a weird sense of humor.
40. I’m in love with Mariska Hargitay
41. France is always where I want to go on vacation
42. Making this list actually kind of depressed me
43. I’m going to have a drink right now to see if that helps