give thanks

and checking this off :)

I haven’t been thanking enough :)

Birthday thanks: for colleague-friends. One of them is in town from NY, and a few of us got together on July 3 to celebrate that + my birthday. The NY guy is a new addition to our circle, but the rest of us were really tight at the beginning of grad school and don’t see each other lately as often as we should. But it was a great night, and my friends are great, and I’m really thankful to have met people in grad school that I actually click with.

For my sister and her baking. My sister moved to my part of the country last fall, which has been great, AND she bakes like a fiend. She sent me a list of 20 cakes to choose from for my birthday cake. Since I am all about the red, white, and blue birthday cakes, we went for shortcake with berries and cream. And DAMN. It was delicious and visually impressive and enjoyed by all.

For old friends. On my birthday, one of my oldest friends, who lives about an hour away and had never been to my house, came to visit. And we yammered and yammered. It was fantastic.

For shoe shopping. Check these out (in red).

For the place where I live, which is just beautiful in summertime.

For my husband, who is as sweet as the day I met him.

For Y’ALL and all your amazing birthday wishes and virtual presents. THANKS!!

Simon has an amazing entry that says everything I might ever have dreamed of saying about this goal!

to “give thanks.” Broaden it a little bit, you know.

Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about how my gratitude for not having experienced so many hardships in life sometimes obscures the fact that really, I did have quite a bit to deal with compared to the (admittedly, extremely privileged) people I know these days – and I should appreciate more consciously all the things that have happened in the last 5 years to make my life better.

She’s 3 years younger than me, and we were so different growing up. She actually had musical and dance abilities, while I had none. I learned to read absurdly early, and she went at a more normal pace. I was “the verbal kid” and she was “the math kid.” Her friends growing up were the demure studious chicks, and mine were the academically inclined boys and the brilliant but mentally ill girls.

But now we’ve grown up and somehow converged. Next year, we’ll be working on Ph.D.s in the same department of the same university. We both somehow grew up and grew liberal. It’s remarkable how similar the ways we see the world are and how we share the same strengths and weaknesses. It’s a powerful thing to have a double out there; we move in different circles, take in different information, and form a dynamic duo you better watch out for =)

Oh, my Boy. I met him over half my life ago, became friends with him 10 years ago, best friends 8 years ago, started dating 7 years ago, married almost 1 year ago. First he was a nice guy, then someone I admired, then someone I couldn’t take my eyes off… but I never dreamed we would be perfect for each other. It sounds ridiculous to say, but I really have been that mentally ill: I wouldn’t be here, as in anywhere, without him.

They say that just stating your goals – being aware of them and putting them out there – is the first step to making them happen. Maybe so. 43t really is genius, and the people here are such sources of encouragement and inspiration. I’m sure I’m missing somebody, but here’s a partial list of the people who have inspired and encouraged me here:

• the robots, of course =)
• starglows
• Gwendydd
• Des & dwlt
• RomanticRose in her various incarnations
• laweeez
• Cathibeth
• HappyPhantom & BrownEyedGirl
• zooey
• Flash
• FairlyFearless
• sarana and the other FLYers
• merraqabi
• Abby
• calypte
• Kiska
• Maggie
• Pattie A
• Ruth G
• dragonfly
• girlnextdr
• whywalk
• nobodysperfect
• mOz
• dastalkingqueen

and many more, I’m sure!

I know most of my posts lately are obnoxious bragging about how awesome my life is. It probably makes you want to vomit, unless you’re one of the people who remember when my goals were things like:

1) Get out of bed at least once a week
2) Try to floss sometimes
3) Think about research at least 5 minutes a day
4) Refrain from murdering anyone today
...
etc.

A few years ago, I was conducting a masochistic little experiment – never mind the reason – on how many straws I could pile onto my metaphorical camel’s back. It was all jolly good until that last straw, and then I needed to take it real slow for a looong time.

Then came the sleep apnea, joining the ADD and the (now treated) depression that never went away.

I’m starting to feel like myself again more and more these days, and instead of bragging about how great that is, I’d like to use this goal to call out the people who got me through this, even anonymously.