is a sticking point for a lot of people. Whenever somebody says, “I’m not a feminist, but…”, I ask her what she thinks the word feminist means. The answer, after a lot of spluttering, is that a feminist is someone who thinks women are superior to men, hates men, wants a culture that is hostile to men, etc.
This is the definition of the word “feminism.” The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
Now we get three major objections:
1) “But this is the twenty-first century! Surely everyone agrees on that!”
Well, not everyone. Certainly not everyone around the world. And if you look more closely at the society of your choice, you can see plenty of cultural norms transmitting the message that women aren’t as good, aren’t as worthwhile, should live more circumscribed lives, exist solely for decoration, sex, and servitude, etc. If you look more closely at yourself – no matter how feminist you are – you will see them reflected there as well.
2) “But once a feminist said something really extreme, and I totally disagree with that!”
Let’s do an experiment. Replace the word “feminist” with Democrat/Republican/environmentalist/Christian/Muslim/43thinger etc. You don’t have to share every aspect of your beliefs with every single member of these movements. They’re big tents. And keep in mind that there are opponents who want to cherry-pick the most extreme examples of any of these movements in order to discourage people from subscribing to them. Don’t fall for it.
3) “But I like boys, and I want them to like me!”
Me too. But if standing up for my beliefs turns them off, then fuck ‘em.
There are lots of reasons not to identify as a feminist: you don’t subscribe to the idea of social and political equality for women; you do subscribe to that idea, but in practice you find it conflicting with your other beliefs and losing…etc. But I would love for more people to think clearly about that choice, rather than espousing “I’m not a feminist” when they mean “I shave my legs and wear lipstick and date boys.”
