...I’m just terrified of crashing.
I think this sort of sums up my issue. I’m not really scared by the act of flying or even dying. I’m scared of the possible ways of dying as a result of flying. Make sense?
This phobia is one that has taken root in me sometime in the last 6 years or so. There was a time that flying never bothered me, actually I looked forward to it. And then I snapped.
It first hit me when I wanted to fly to visit family in South Carolina from Vermont, where I lived at the time. I got the time off of work, booked my flight, and let everyone know I was coming. Then, a week before I was supposed to go, it hit me… oh shit I’m getting on an airplane.
I went through with the trip, and when I’d landed in Philadelphia after the first leg from Burlington, VT I actually felt a bit silly about losing sleep for week about it. However, instead of it being a one time freak out it has just gotten worse at time goes on.
The last time I flew was about 4 years ago to a conference in Boston for work. I couldn’t sleep for weeks leading up to the day, literally drank my face off before boarding here locally and during a stopover in Charlotte. By the time we were ready to leave Charlotte for Boston I would have flown on a winged unicorn…
Now I avoid air travel at all costs. Two years ago when I had to take a business trip to Chicago I rented a car and drove 11 hours instead of flying. Last summer when my brother got married in New Jersey I rented a car and drove over 13 hours.
However, this summer, I have an event that I must fly to. As in there is no physical way to drive a car to it. So here I go… trying to attempt to figure out some way around this fear.