not be depressed

so my eyes bawled up great!
feel really crappy about things dont feel like i want anything to eat juts feel like smoking til my lungs hurt. depressed about the lack of control i have over my life and feel absoultely crappy that i cant do anything about it!
feel like i want to make changes but i know i cant, feel like i want to just really rock the boat but then wats that gona achive?
life sucks, cant do nowt and even if i wnated to have 1001 reasons as to why i shouldt
numero uno is the effect it will have on my parents

dobedoobeedo
gona go build my bridge and get over it, otherwise ill jump of it!

i want to cry, am not sure on why i want to bawl my eyes out, its been an emotional week. more of the problem is that my friends are the reason why i feel so low, i love being around postive ppl which they are but its been a difficult week.
so here i am at work, not wanting to communicate to anyone about how i feel and why i feel what i feel.
feel as if im chasing my own tail and boy oh boy my eyes are swelling up
gona go for cancer on the stick n some fresh air and write a new entry