speak less, listen more

Well, not literally, but I have been trying to make it a point more frequently to choose opportunities to just listen to other people talk without adding my thoughts to the conversation. I just let the other person(s) talk most of the time. I try to be aware of when I want to interject something related to what they are saying and evaluate whether the conversation will continue just fine without my comments.

This was especially challenging the other day when a friend of mine was repeating to a mutual friend (in my presence) an interesting story she had previously told me. I resisted the urge to prompt her for details she had not yet revealed and repeat my reactions to the story. Instead I just allowed it to be retold with the new listener responding to the story. Only when the entire story had been told and a discussion on the story had begun did I participate in the conversation.

I don’t want to take a vow of silence or anything. I just want to listen more and talk less.

Spend an hour each day without saying anything except in answer to direct questions, in the midst of the usual group, without creating the impression that you’re sulking or ill. Be as ordinary as possible. But do not volunteer remarks or try to draw out information.

Hope to give this a try at work tomorrow and maybe even incorporate it into every day.

Not anymore! I’m still soft-spoken as far as the volume of my voice but over the years, I seem to have transformed from an extremely quiet child and then young adult into someone who thoroughly enjoys talking. It was fine for me to come out of my shell, by my goodness! I don’t have to talk this much!!!

Although I will still allow myself to write as much as I want, I have decided that I have become too talkative for my own taste. I’m going to try to develop a habit of evaluating each thought that crosses my mind in terms of whether it really needs to be expressed out loud.