back up my computer

My computer keeps telling me that there’s something wrong with it. It’s telling me to reinstall windows. That I should back up all of my information soon or I may lose it. Trouble is, I don’t have a way to back it up. I mean, she’s a fine lookin’ woman- why doesn’t she just back that ass up? I can’t even burn CDs because there’s so much crap on it that there’s no room for even that small task… so my options are limited. External hard drives are out of my budget at the moment, and that horizon doesn’t look to be nearing… I can’t find my gig jump drive to transfer stuff to a friends computer… so I’m stuck, and I’m addicted to the internet… what the hell am I going to do if my computer dies???