only smoke cigarettes while drinking or after sex

So I’ve almost completely extinguished the post-coital cigarette—I can’t remember exactly the last time I’ve had one. I’d like to take credit for that, but it’s mostly because, well really, after sex the only thing I want to do is nap. Or sometimes eat something. Or have more sex.

Granted, if we were outside or something, it would probably be a different story. But we’re decent human beings here, so it’s not.

I still smoke while drinking, but not like a chimney. I don’t particularly feel the need to light up when I’m at a party or something, so I only tend to go outside for a smoke depending on who else is going to be out there. If I don’t feel like having one, and the front porch is where all the assholes are headed, then count me out.

So it’s come down to that. I’m a social smoker, and I’m pretty antisocial, so that works out. It’s very rare that I have a cigarette on a weekday anymore (unless, as stated in a previous entry, I’m very upset about something). I’m happy with that for right now.

So.

My partner really digs seeing me light one up while we’re fooling around. This is new to me. I’m not saying I’m the be all end all of Human Sexuality, fetishisms, partialisms, or kinks in general just because I study it.

It’s especially strange because he’s a non-smoker.

So I do it every once in a while. Though not as often as he’d like (mostly because we tend to mess around indoors more often than outdoors, and I don’t want to stink up the place too often).

Anyway, I’ve been keeping myself in the safe zone as far as smoking only while drinking, and have been tending not to light one up ever after sex. So I don’t feel bad when I occasionally have one if I’m upset or something and don’t happen to have a drink in my hand (for whatever reason:)

Very good.

In fact, during my end-of-the-summer affair earlier this month, I didn’t even light up once after sex. That’s because he’s not a smoker, and though I enjoy the post-coital cigarette, I enjoy post-coital coitus more, and I wasn’t going to make myself smell all smokey (see? sex is good for you).

While drinking with him, too, I resisted the [very mild] urge.

I lit up yesterday (while inebriated), about two weeks after my last cigarette. I’m pretty happy about my ability to go weeks without it. I enjoy cigarettes when I want them, and I don’t want them often. Good deal.

I don’t know if I mentioned this in my last entry or not (and I’m far too lazy to check), but I tend to smoke socially. When I’m with my best friend, Jesse, I’ll light up almost as often as he does.

The last time I smoked a cigarette was last week, wednesday-ish, and I haven’t had one since. No urges or cravings, so I can’t take much credit for beating any great addiction, but, I think this at leasts establishes that I’m somewhat safe from the need to smoke. I dig that.

This is pretty much the only good thing about not seeing Jesse for a while.

It’s safe to say I’m not so much an addict as I am an enthusiast, as I can go days without smoking and it’s fine. Plus, the harshest I smoke are lights.

My weekness, however, is my social smoking. My best friend takes frequent cigarette breaks and I usually smoke more when I’m around him.

He’s planning on quitting, though, so I might as well eliminate the habit from my life as well. His quitting will give me less reason to keep doing it, and my quitting will (hopefully) help him because I’ll never light up around him.

I will, however, continue my post-coital cigarette ritual. Sorry. It’s just too awesome. Smoking while inebriated, too, feels great. But no more after-meal or before-class or “because s/he’s lighting up, too” cigarettes.

I lead a rather health-conscious existence, so it makes no sense for me to want to smoke anymore at all, but I can use the same logic to say that’s probably why the occasional cigarette isn’t going to kill me.