post random thoughts

I want to give up this goal. But what will happen to my thoughts I never think about if I do?

my company filed chapter 11 today. I think it’s going to be okay but still – it’s scary. And I just bought a car last week. I do think it will be okay.

I emailed my 3 closest friends from work today (because I couldn’t call) As of now – 10 hours later – 1 has responded. Nice.

staying overnight at the vet again. He could have come home for the night, but would have had to go back first thing in the morning. Plus at the vet, he’s moving around less, which (hopefully) means he’s healing faster. I feel like a bad pet mom because I didn’t insist on picking him up & bringing him home, but I really think it’s better for him to stay there.

So he comes home from the vet yesterday. Have a nice walk this morning. I do my best to reign him in, because he’s not supposed to be so active right now. But his spirits are high, he’s feeling good. Get home in the evening after work (yes, we had someone checking on him during the day). Well, we checked his bandage, didn’t look so good, so we took him back to the vet so they could change. Yeah… They sent us back to the emergency room he went to originally, saying “They should have to fix this.” So the dog has a huge (20 centimeters by 10 centimeters) area that’s necrotic. The staples are literally falling out because his skin is dying, falling apart. They think there’s some infection underneath that the antibiotic isn’t working on. So he’s spending the night again. They are going to remove the necrotic tissue, debride the whole area. She told us everything, now I’m forgetting some things because I’m upset. The original injury was last Saturday, at which time the vet said we could take the bandage off in 3 days. It’s now worse – horribly worse – and my poor puppy has been in pain all this time.

Thanks for letting me share.

Any opinions from dog owners out there? I’ve read they’re fine together, awful together. Ones better, then the other. Any opinions?

don’t you hate when someone asks you the hard questions? And then doesn’t like the answers? And then you have to walk on eggshells for the next week? And your footsteps are really heavy?

I posted an entry here on 43T about a friend’s birthday. I posted a similar (although different) post on Facebook. Funny thing is – I’ve gotten 3 “responses” thus far on 43T, from a group of people I’ve never met, who certainly didn’t know him. On facebook, 9 of my “friends” knew my friend whose birthday it was. 2 of those people were REALLY close to him. 1 person on facebook responded. What’s up with that? Just curious.

remembering a friend on what would have been his 43rd birthday. He’s been gone almost 23 years now, and I still think of him pretty much daily. I wonder what he would be like now. Often I hear songs & think “Doug would have liked that.” Yeah, he missed out on grunge, Quentin Tarentino movies, Jessica Alba. Those are all things he would have liked. Happy Birthday Doug! I still miss you, and I’ll always love you.

do you say “enough is enough!”

And how do you know it is?

And you didn’t give up too soon?

There’s a gas station I pass on my morning walk. It’s one of those stations on the outer edge of a supermarket – gas pumps, and a little 6×12 cement block building where the cashier sits. When I walk by, it’s still the midnight shift. I see the cashier, a women in her late 40’s early 50’s. Usually she’s sitting, waiting. Sometimes she stocking or sweeping. Makes me think of my mom. When I was growing up, two incomes were definitely needed. She found a full time job working the midnight shift at a local convenience store. Not a 6×12, but a real convenience store complete with a deli. So she never sat – she worked her butt off, scrubbing, stocking, making sandwiches & salads for the next days deli case. She took the job because working midnights meant she wouldn’t miss any of her kid’s school functions, she be there when we got home from school in the afternoon. Dad was there in the morning, so her kids would never be latch key kids. And to do that, she learned to sleep from 10 am to 2 pm, and again from 7 pm to 10 pm & somewhere in there do laundry, clean house, and cook meals. Yep, we had family dinner, 90% of the time. So I see this woman working with the midnight shift & I wonder why she’s there, why she made that choice. Then I think of my mom. And then I realize – I never thanked her. I need to do that.