be comfortable with my body

i had a lot of time to think about what i should write. i scribbled 6 pages in my journal and i just let my thoughts flow. it was a very emotional experience. i felt so grateful for all the things i am able to do because of my body. when i read it in group they said they were very inspired. that made me feel good :)

a couple months ago i favorited a video on youtube of a young man reading a letter he wrote to his body. he addressed each part of himself; he apologized but also gave thanks. that video really gave me a new perspective. for as long as i can remember i have been in a battle with my own body. i never thought about how my body has always been there for me, constantly putting up with my negative self-talk.

recently, i got some pictures printed of me and my boyfriend on top of a mountain after a hike and us in our biking gear while riding the newport bluffs. my mind went back to that youtube video and how it made me feel. i thought about all the things it has helped me to experience: riding 26-mile bike tours, hiking in canada, walking throughout boston, snowboarding down big bear mountain, and carrying me all this way.

i brought this up in my group session and a counselor suggested i write my own letter. while discussing the idea, i felt grateful for all the things my body has done for me. i also felt guilty for mistreating my body in the past through the cutting and the eating disorder. i often blamed it for not being like the bodies i saw in the magazines or on tv. i had extremely high expectations on how i should look like.

i think writing this letter will be a huge step towards being comfortable with my own body and building up a positive body image. i also think it will boost my self-esteem and self-confidence.