Its me and my boyfriends 1 year anaversary in a few weeks. and for the whole year weve been together, ive been paranoid as hell. It drives me mad. Everytime he goes out the door all I can think about is that he is gonna cheat on me, i start to panic when he gets home later than what he said he would, even when he went to work I would panic. I dont know why im like this with him, ive never been this way with anyone else ive been with. I love him dearly, I really do. We have things total great, we live together and its totally amazing. Hes the only one for me. Ive known him for about 5 years, and we where great friends before we started dating. Ive never been in abusive relationships and never been with someone who has cheated on me. He dosent have a track record for cheating either.
I worry constantly about everything. My mum died tradgicly when i was 13, im 19 now. My dad was diagnosed with chronic emphazema a few weeks before my 18th birthday. I worry every single day about him. I worry every day incase i lose my job, I always worry about what people think about me. I worry about every aspect in my life. I guess im pretty good at hideing all this, even my boyfriend Martin dosent know all this. I find it hard opening up and letting all this out. I thought of getting a diary just to write all this down, but i worry incase someone finds it and reads it as we usually have quite a lot of people round at mines quite often.
I just dont know what to do
Its ruining my life