i want to be thin

I am 13 5ft and at the moment I weigh about 98 lbs =[ I want to be about 70 lbs aventuraly but i guess 84 would be okaii for now. Im surrounded by skinny people all the time and my friends are always making sure I eat, I mean yea I no they want whats best for me but this is a thing i want to do. I need support and at the moment im getting none. Most of the time i feel totaly disgusting after I have eaten something. When i look in the mirror all I see is a fugly teen, im sick of it. I just want to be beautiful. I feel totaly lost and i don’t no what to do, I can’t talk to my family about it because they wouldnt understand, I mean how could they? They don’t have to be dealing with all the guys at school and everything. =[ I feel so bad saying all this cuz i no you think im stupid and should be happy with how I look but that would just be lying to myself and everybody around me. Its not like i enjoy doing this to myself but how else will i get there. I want to show people that i am strong enough to do this to myself. It’s so hard, Please if there is anyone who can help me with this or wants to do it with me comment.
Thankyou.
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