lose weight

woooow i havent been on in soo long.
so yeah these last few weeks ive just been trying to eat normally, and i can do it now.. i dont count calories and things like that, which takes a LOT off my mind. and i dont think counting made me lose more weight, i was just more aware. and, honestly, going over your “limit” one day is NOT going to make a difference. whatever.
so yeah im just going back to traditional ways of eating. i figure that if people have eaten like this for hundreds or thousands of years its probably the best for you. so im eating three meals a day with no snacks and maybe a milky drink in there somewhere :) im staying active because i like it, not because i have to burn a certain number of calories a day.
and im not stressed for once, probably because i dont beat myself up for eating like a normal person instead of being all disordered but justifying it by saying itll make me lose weight (and it didnt work). maybe its willpower, but healthy people dont have huge willpower, they just enjoy themselves.
lifes too short anyway :)
and im 56kg, down from ~62.

oh hooray.
i dont think ive binge like i used to for um.. two weeks or so :)
there have been some mini binges but im getting better at stopping those.
and ive stopped automatically counting calories.
i feel so much less stressed now :)
yay.

aah! the scales at the gym are 2kg low.
so. im probably around 57kg, instead of 55.
damn damn damn.
my scales are accurate then.
ill weigh myself in the morning :)

wow havent been on for a while :)
everyone keeps commenting on how thin i am.
i dont think im thin, just not padded anymore.
and i have rollerblades :) they make me taller.
so i look thinner for my artificial height :)
and i dont binge as frequently.
but im still struggling with eating when im hungry.
i usually eat at accepted food times whether or not im hungry lol :(
but i didnt today, i was pretty unhealthy haha.
b- 2 soy chai teas
l- two pieces of toast with apricot jam
d- a block of 70% chocolate :P
lol eew. 1100 cals though.
i think thats a good calorie amount for an average day.
ill eat more if im exercising though :)
i think i weigh around 55kg still which is great.
blah.
everyones great :) keep up the good work :)

hiiii everyone :)
last week i just had a break from everything.. i got obsessed with food and exercise again and i was just sick of it. so yup :) i just ate like a normal person and didnt count calories and all that.
and haha! i lost weight i think :) but im not sure because the scales are dodgy. i think theyre around 3kg too high and if thats true then im 54.5, but thats probably too good to be true.
ive been eating three normal meals a day and snacking if ive been hungry. i was at my dads this weekend and there isnt any healthy food there, but normal people are unhealthy too sometimes so im not stressing.
but yes :) this week im going to try and avoid snacks unless im really hungry, and ill have a smaller breakfast and exercise every other day. i think thats normal.
i just hope i can get back to eating to live and not obsessing over everything, im so tired of thinking about it all the time..
good luck everyone :)

hmm.. kinda stuffed up today, not binging but i was running late for school so took a bad lunch, then ate it at recess because it wasnt filling at bought lunch. doesnt matter :) its not a binge.
i cant really be bothered posting everything i eat every day, so i think ill just post progress :)

yesterday was day three, yay im over my hurdle :)
so. day 3:
b- small croissant, one apple and yoghurt.
l- salad sandwich with tahini
s- hot chocolate
d- vegetarian oyako donburi with rice, yummy.
ahh, so happy. im back on track again :)
i think not snacking at recess helps a lot. but i get really hungry after school so itd be stupid to not eat.
hahaha hooray for day 4!

day 2!
b- small croissant, an apple and some yoghurt
l- fried veggies on toast
s- chai tea
d- will be barbecue food, i spose that means ill be having salad XD
i bought rollerblades today :):) ive been wanting some for about two years. will be soooo fun :) its really good exercise i think. and ill walk my dog more often, so hell be happy :)

blargh edit.
before dinner i had a handful of nuts, and after dinner i had two scoops of organic ice cream with cocoa.
but thats okay :)
this week is about control and calm,
and eating for hunger instead of emotions.

day 1 of starting again :)
b- porridge, walnuts, a pear.
l- spinach and ricotta roll
d- some kind of aubergine salad.. i dont know, should be nice.
im going to buy some rollerblades tomorrow.. ahh so excited! ill get out a lot more when i have them :)
went to the gym to learn my new program, oh gosh. the cardio was sooo hard, which is good because im training for a taekwondo grading.. but still. i felt like i was going to be sick after 7 minutes lol.