envision my future, and take the necessary steps to make it happen

i liked this goal when i first made it, and it has helped me to focus on the next step over the past several months, but it is time to put it to rest, and start getting down to the nitty gritty with more specific goals. besides, i am not living in ‘the now’ as much as i should since i have graduated and started my career, and this goal runs contradictory to living in the now…

in an effort to get rid of clutter, i recently pitched dozens of old magazines, but before discarding the dec 2006 issue of psychology today, i had to synopse an amazing article on how to upgrade your thinking, reboot your attitude, and reconfigure your life…

(1) the grass is not always greener on the other side. you may be projecting your inner turmoil outward, so stop blaming others for your discontent. work/family/friends/life should reap rewards, but you may be expecting too much. give a little more to the situation and readjust your expectations and you will experience less disappointment...

(2) do not fear failure. your mind tends to play the worst-case scenario. what is the likelihood that the thing you fear will come true? and if it does come true, will it really be as bad as you think? temporary slips are crucial to eventual success. not everyone will immediately take to the new you, but such killjoys are probably responding to their needs rather than yours. ultimately, if those close to you don’t like you now that you are happier, then you have to ask yourself if they’re good people to have in your life...

(3) embrace risk and novelty. break free from the mold and go after what you want. in the end, you will regret the things you didn’t try more than those you did, even if you tried and failed...

(4) create a new internal vision. most of us are in situations that may not be great, but are nontheless stable, which means we need something to run toward, not just an excuse to run away. the image may prime you to act, but taking the first steps will still be difficult. change equals loss, but if you don’t have a series of things you’ve walked away from, you’re probably not leading a rich life...

(5) don’t wait until you feel ready, because no such time will come. this is the only life you’ll ever have. the universe is indifferent and even people who love us only love us with sobering intermittency. so look within and choose to direct yourself...

i have been thinking about this for awhile now. i will be moving in six months and i plan to buy either a house or a condo. with the housing market being the way it is, i am certain i can get a great price on a house, especially a fixer-upper. regardless of if i buy a house or a condo, i want to have around 20% to put down so that my interest stays as low as possible. so until that time, i will not be able to max out my 401k, but i will be able to contribute a little bit over $5000 by the end of 2008. after the house is squared away, i will increase my contributions and hopefully be able to max out in 2009. that’s the plan.

i don’t have any other goals that these will fit under, but i want to have them handy so i can read them when i need to. although i’m not a religious person, they both do make references to god, but to me that could be any and all gods, or simply the potential that is in each of us…

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting
Your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love, for your dreams,
For the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals,
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
Mine or your own,
Without moving
To hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy,
Mine or your own,
If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life
From God’s presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure,
Yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone,
And do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
In the center of the fire with me
And not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
From the inside
When all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
With yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments.

i am definitely not a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinda guy. i like to plan, make lists, weigh pros and cons, check my planner, and x things off as i go along. i like a chaotic schedule because i am orderly and the more i have to do, the more i can get done. pick any task, say studying for an exam or working out, and in any given week, if i worked 40 hours, went to all my classes, went to two parties, babysat my nephews, and volunteered, i guarentee that i would study more and work out more that week compared to a week i had absolutely nothing to do. for me, having nothing to do equates to perpetuating the nothingness. i am so excited to start my career, certainly not because i want to work (hahaha) but i know my productivity will exponentially increase. then i can get cracking on some of these goals, and add many more as this next chapter of my life gets underway.

i will have graduated, (hopefully) passed my board exams, and embarked on my career. like i’ve said before, i don’t want this to be it. i want more and once the career starts and money starts coming in, i want to be able to do the things i’ve always wanted to do but not be financially stupid. it is unfortunate that so many professionals dedicate their lives to their education and then their careers that they lose focus on the things that matter most. i don’t want this to happen to me. i will give myself until august 1, 2008 to figure out the things that need to be immediately figured out, and then go on from there…

whitwater rafting
skydiving
caving
rock climbing
sailing
traveling
skiing
snowboarding
water skiing
parasailing
tornado chasing =O
languages
festivals
concerts
guitar
drums
dancing
and so much more…

sure, i’ll be a pharmacist. however that is just my career and just the tip of the iceberg of how i want to be defined. i never undertood why our society is so adamant on defining who we are by our occupations. it is far more important to be a great father, a great husband, a great friend, a great neighbor. and whatever happened to hobbies? i want to learn languages, travel the world, play the guitar, play the drums, never stop learning, read and write for the sheer pleasure of reading and writing, mentor, volunteer, save the world. ok, so that last one is a far fetch, but you get the point. i won’t be happy simply being a pharmacist. why not have several careers throughout a lifetime? i want to have businesses, own real estate, a restaurant maybe, be a freelance writer, and whatever else catches my fancy throughout my years… when people think of me, i want them to ask, “how the hell does he do it all? where does he find the time, the energy, and the passion?”