I have to write this down, so I remember how horrible it all was.
Maddie was born by emergency c-section on 10th of April 2009 at 3.32am, Good Friday actually. Prior to me going into hospital to be induced I was told that I would only be allowed to go through a “trial of labour” which would be 6 hours, any longer and I would have to have a section. I was in labour for 16 hours.
I also specified on numerous occasions that i didn’t want syntocin administered whilst i was in labour as according to good practice guidelines the administration of syntocin in a woman who has had a previous c-section can facilitate tearing of either the old section scar or any adhesions internally.
I will not even attempt to make a guess at the real reasons behind what happened but I ended up with a tear to my bladder which was adhered to my uterus resulting in a fistula. Incredibly Common in Africa, almost unknown in Western medicine.
I am now recovering from a major repair to both my bladder and my uterus, I now have the most ugly scar on my tummy, we don’t know if we will be able to have more children, my daughter is 14 weeks old on Friday and I am celebrating my first week without a catheter since she has been born.
I won’t go on about how awful it is, because it is awful, it should never have happened and I have missed out on so much during the last 3 months. My life has been turned upside down by all this and right now I feel numb about it.
I am grateful that Madeleine is perfect, I am grateful that my husband loves me and has taken such good care of his family, especially me for so long now, that he has been able to take time off work and that he has wanted to.