turn it over to my Higher Power daily!!!

Like my mother before me, I am powerless over food, and my life has become unmanagable. I haave come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. I am turning over my will and my care to a higher power of my understanding.

So mote it be.

I cannot control what I way right now. My life has become unmanagable. I have come to believe in a gighere power of my understanding. I am turning my will and my care over my weight and size over to you, Moon Goddess. I want to venerate my body rather than beat it down. My body did a great job growing my babies. It is doing a tremendous job making food for my babies. I want to celebrate the miracle of my body. I want to feed it the reught food in the right amounts and to stop punishing myself because I am not perfect. I still deserve love. I still deserve respect. I am still extremely lovable.

Goddess, remove my pain and make way for acceptance and love.

SoMote it be.

1. Not being a perfect mother.

2. Not being a perfect wife

3. My power over what my husband thinks of me.

4. The fact that I am not perfect.

5. I am powerless over the shape of my body.

6. When and how much my kids are sleeping right now.

7. My power over how my husband acts and what he thinks period.

Goddess, you are in charge of my marriage right now. I can’t put an energy into my unworthiness anymore. You are in charge of giving me exactly the marriage that we need right now. It is enough to know that you are in love with me and that I am truly loved. Give the girls the daddy that they need. I am so in love with them and I want them to be very happy and productive intheir lives. I just know that they are going to be very special people doing very good work in the world. I am so lucky to be their mom.

Goddess, just take care of me, and of Jole, and our beautiful children. If nothing more ever grows between us, at least we will have these very special babies, and I know he will always be an excellent father.

But, if it be your will, I want is to be in love forever and and ever. Or to fall in love again in a more lasting, sane way than we did last time.

Thank you, Goddess, for caring for me.

So mote it be.

Goddess,

Over the course of my pregnancy Jole has gone through the progressive stages of emotional withdrawal.the girls and I seem emotionally absent in his life. He goes to all the appointments and the meetings, but he doesn’t touch me unless I ask. Goddess, I think he is scared, but I don’t know. I cannot make him want to be there for me emotionally. I have always known that emotions are not his specialty. So I guess expecting him to be there for me right now is like expecting a drunk to quit drinking because they love you. I really don’t know what he is capable of and it’s not my place to tease it out of him.

He has done many things to show affection, and those are the things that I want to focus on as I prepare for the birth. He started wearing a wedding ring. He bought me flowers. The card was so awesome. I cried.

He can’t kiss me right now or make love to me or be outwardly romantic, but somewhere in there he loves me so much. I know this. I just don’t think he can risk feelings if there is a chance that something will happen to us or that we won’t make it. There is always that chance and his protection is to put me and my belly at arms length so he can be at a distance if we go away.

I can’t predict the future. I can’t say how this will end. But right now, today, I am madly in love with him and I want him in my life and closer to my heart, if that’s possible. If it’s not, then he has given me so much and I am eternally grateful to him always and forever. But I love him very, very much, and I want us to experience great joy and tenderness in the days and weeks to come, if that be your will.

So mote it be.

I have absolutely no control over whether Jole wants to be romantic with me or not. I get really scared that he won’t ever want to be romantic with me again, but as Diana is fond of saying, that means I’m not putting my trust in you. So, if I trust you, that means I will get what I need, and you will handle the details. And that’s all I need to know. It is comforting to know that you will give me what I need and I don’t have to force it. I surrender to your will.

So mote it be.

Goddess,

I am fucking pissed @ one of my employees. She was so rude to me the other day, and I don’t feel resolved about it. I want her to be different. I want her to say that she was sorry. I want her respect.

So here’s the deal – I cannot control how she feels about me. How she feels about me is none off my business! Buy how I feel about here will save my ass! Goddess, take my resentment. I know that I deserve to be happy and have a good life, and the only way to get that is to stay sober and to turn this over to you. She did what she could in the moment. My resentments will make me unhappy and hold me down.

Obviously if she does that again there will be more serious consequences. But for now how she acted has to be good enough, and I turn it over to you to deal with, Moon Goddess.

So in short I am powerless over what She thinks of me, and my life has become unmanagable. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. I am turning my will and my care over to a higher power of my understanding.

So mote it be.

Goddess,

i am working out my fears around losing my clients. i am holding onto the sale and I fear I might lose them as customers. I feel like I did eveything that I could and I might lose them anyway.

I have to turn this over to you. If there is something else that I need to be doing, or something else that I need to take responsibility for, please let me know. I want the sale, of course, but I also know that you may have other plans for me thatI can’t see yet. I don’t want to be impatient. I want to do what’s right and trust in your guidance.

Also, if there is some insight on my performance that I need, it would be nice to have that feedback. I need to be able to learn from my mistakes, so if they don’t come back, some kind of closure would be good.

Thank you Goddess for all of the wonderful things in my life.

So mote it be….

And to keep all negative comments to myself. Why do I forget so often? I don’t know. I guess I figure that the people around me will change and I will have to govern myself less and less. Maybe that will happen. Maybe it won’t/ But I need to maintain my integrity and happiness for my girls.

I have always had asreally hard time just letting things be what they are. I really did a number on my first marriage trying to force what I thought should happen on myhusband. I will give credit where credit is due and say that I am getting a lot better at taking care of myself, becoming more Empowered and not taking other people’s on as my own. I still of course want things to be the way that I nqant them to be. But lately I am just letting things be what they are, and that will just have to be enough. I am not gonna lie. Leaving things alone is really scary to me. What if I leave something alone and I don’t get what I want? THAT scares me more than action.

There is only one thing right now that’s not going the way that I would like it to, and have in the past tended to focus on what I don’t have rather than what I do. But, I can’t force things to be the way that I want and I don’t want to peas the issue. I want to be comfortable with things being the way that they are.

I have no control over how my partner sees me. I only have contro over myself and my attitudes. So that’s what I’m working on.