Maybe I shouldn’t call this goal “done” quite yet since we’re making a lot of changes to our program structure in the new year, but as far as my ROLE goes, I’m feeling pretty confident and competent these days. And though I still haven’t had a formal review, I’m getting a raise next month so I’ll just assume that means I’m not failing miserably ;)
In all honesty, this goal isn’t so important to me anymore, either. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. I just want to be more present in all that I do – work included.
I had a planning meeting with (not so) New Guy today and, for the first time since my promotion last December, I’ve finally developed clearly-defined roles for each of us (along with goals and deadlines). I finally feel like I have a (new) purpose
in life at work, and it feels great.
I need to savor this moment because I’m pretty sure it won’t last more than a couple of weeks. My work life is due to get completely rocked very soon, but that’s OK. Even with the new things we anticipate coming our way, we have a plan to move forward.
It’s funny because this feeling of success comes just after I had a dream last night about asking my boss for an evaluation. I think I was subconsciously waiting on her validation before marking this goal as “complete,” when in reality I should be living up to my own standards and not hers.
Incredibly successful work event!
My boss pointed out that all the hard work we put into planning and preparing for the event really brought us together as a team. She’s right. In the end, everyone – staff and participants – seemed thrilled with the results, and we all walked away with renewed energy and plenty of new, practical, and innovative ideas and strategies. I am beyond anxious and excited to get back into the office and start integrating these new things into my work.
Yesterday my boss did something that really irked me. Actually, it didn’t bother me in the immediate, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
She referred to New Guy and me as “kids.” As in, “come on kids, let’s go.” I didn’t acknowledge her request until she rephrased it in a professional manner.
I get it. She’s 23 years older than me. She’s married and has a kid and cares for her ailing mother and owns her own house. I just have a boyfriend (of nearly seven years) and no children and I (gasp) rent my home. But I’m 28, dammit. She hired me more than two years ago to fulfill a professional role in the organization. When she refers to me as a “kid,” it’s demeaning. She realizes that, too. Immediately after she said it, she stopped herself as if to acknowledge that she shouldn’t make such a comment. But it’s not the first time it’s happened.
I may not be your equal – you’re the director and I’m your employee, and that’s fine – but I am certainly not your kid. Your kid is 13 and obnoxious. The only thing I have in common with your kid is that we both, from time to time, wear bows in our hair. That doesn’t make me a child.
I shouldn’t care what she thinks, but I do.
we met our third quarter numbers and then some. We’re not caught up from the first and second quarters, but we’re making progress.
Even before that piece of news, I was feeling optimistic about work. I reviewed the posts I’ve written under this goal over the last 10 months. I created a comprehensive to-do list and included very few deadlines – I think I’ll be much more successful if I just make sure I’m checking a few things off each day. The list inspired me to write an email I’ve been meaning to send for weeks. I’m just getting ready to leave the office at 6pm, and I’m not even itching to go home yet.
I really needed this change in attitude. There are things about my job I can change and things that are out of my control – and it’s time to start focusing on the former and letting go of the latter.
that today’s my two-year anniversary at my job. That’s HUGE for me… especially considering I’m not yet planning my exit strategy ;)
I may not always love my job, but I’m so thankful for it. I’m much more confident and competent than I was two years ago, but I still have a lot to learn and room to grow.
are the ones where you work a grand total of two days, and only one of those days is spent in the office. I swear I’ll get more done today (my one day in the office) than I would in a standard 40-hour work week. Efficiency FTW.
Stop making excuses. Start making progress.
Tomorrow is New Guy’s 3-month evaluation. To prepare, my boss and I talked today. I was as honest as I could be. I gave her the facts. She really helped me articulate what I’ve been trying to say for the past several weeks – New Guy has thoughtful ideas, but not thoughtful execution; it’s the execution that matters most. She’s still hopeful he’ll stick around for a few years. I’m not. But she understands my concerns. I know the conversation was about New Guy, but it was helpful for me, too.
I haven’t had a formal evaluation since starting my job nearly two years ago. I’d like to take that as a good thing – that my performance hasn’t been poor enough to necessitate an evaluation. Yet, at the same time, I really value constructive feedback. I’m hoping to schedule something in the near future. It’s a bit scary to voluntarily put myself out on the line like that, but it can only help my performance, right?
I had a REALLY good talk with my coworker (former “supervisor”) about New Guy. I had just come across a few mistakes that he made (one pretty major mistake) and asked her if I could vent/ask for advice. (Fortunately he’s on vacation for the rest of the week – respite for me AND space to vent.) She was really receptive to everything I had to say, and had a lot of valuable feedback, as well. I acknowledged that I’m still learning how to manage someone (without really being a manager, since our office doesn’t really operate on a hierarchy) while still addressing my own workload. It felt good to talk it out because together we could put things in perspective.
After our talk, I sat down and took notes. I tried to come up with a plan based on our discussion and her recommendations. While I’m not confident that I can keep New Guy from making mistakes (or, as I view it, from being apathetic), I am more confident that I can play both the role of supervisor and “team member.” Co-worker is great at putting a positive spin on things. I’m actually excited about this proposed new structure and, if it goes well, it could result in a much more productive work environment. (If it doesn’t go well, then I think New Guy might be hopeless and might not make it past his three-month review.)