I talked to R yesterday afternoon over the phone. At this point he’d been in the hospital for almost 36 hours. He was starting to get cranky. I had been at work all day and was relying on him to relay information about the hospital world – about testing and results, the doctors’ plans, etc. R didn’t have too many answers and he was tired of getting bombarded with questions every time he spoke to someone. (I later found out that his mom called immediately after our talk and he snapped on her.)
I wanted to be informed about what’s going on, but not at the expense of R’s sanity. So I made the decision that when I went back up to the hospital later that evening, I would not ask questions. I’d allow him to talk if he wanted, but I’d just be there for support. As a result, we were both in good spirits during that visit. We laughed and joked around with each other and the nurses/techs. Finding joy.
I allowed myself to take a break from the hospital to keep dinner-and-a-movie plans with N. THAT was much needed – we got a couple of drinks and snacks before and we both had the opportunity to vent about all life’s crazy drama. We then laughed and laughed some more at the movies (we saw Ted). More joy.
This morning I went back to the hospital for a quick visit before work. I was a little more inquisitive but, once again, tried to curb it. We shared more laughs. Joy.
On my way to the office, I made a stop at the bookstore (it really was work-related, I swear!). I had a “mystery coupon” that would take anywhere for 10-50% off. When I tried to redeem it, however, it wouldn’t scan properly. I exercised patience (dang, it always feels better to be patient that impatient) and, as a result, the manager decided to give me 50% just to keep the line moving :) My $8 book was only $4! Joy!
Nearing my office, I found a questionably large enough parallel parking space. The car behind me – a cab – stopped as I slowly but easily moved my car into the space. There was plenty of space for him to get around me, but the cab just watched. Once I was in the spot, he pulled up next to me. I rolled down my window to ask if I could help him with something – I thought maybe I’d taken his spot or something. His response? “Nice parking job! I didn’t think it was big enough!” That compliment, however small, just made my day. JOY!
(I think the key to finding joy is to stay in the present and focus on the good… not dwelling on uncertainty or negativity. I know this is just a start, but it’s come pretty naturally over the past 18 hours :)