meet new people

One of my other goals is volunteer more…. Maybe I can kill 2 birds with one stone.

My problem is that I hate going to places like bars and nightclubs and it is hard for me to find places with people my age that aren’t those types of places. I have been hanging out at a guitar store that has jam sessions on Friday nights sometimes. They have a few people my age, but mostly much older people. However it is a place I enjoy and am interested in so I thought I’d try it. I did meet one girl my age and got her phone number, but she didn’t return my call the 2 times I tried. Really by going there I’ve done more to increase my guitar playing skill than to meet any new people.
I also tried a site called www.meetup.com where you could meet up with people who have similiar interests. I organized a Christian Social Meetup. 5 people RSVPed, but I ended up standing in front of an Applebees for half an hour while no one showed up. So far I feel like I have put forth a valiant effort, but all I have got to show for it is several nights when I would have been happier at home with my cat.
Its not that I’m unhappy with the group of friends that I have now. It is that I don’t really want to be single anymore and don’t know where to find someone that I would like. I have had some people suggest places like Barnes and Noble, but I suck at starting up conversations with strangers. Anyway I’m kind of discouraged about this.

Started hanging out some places where I don’t know anyone without bringing a friend (I’d talk to the friend the whole time). I managed to ask a girl that I had only talked to briefly a couple of times for her phone number and she gave it to me. She hasn’t returned my call, but I don’t care. Just the fact that I had the courage to do that was enough.

I was planning on going out by myself last night. My friends were busy and I knew if I brought one of them with me I’d just wind up talking to him or her all night and not meet anyone new. Its an intimidating thought. I am not good at starting conversations with people I’ve never met. I can never think of a good opening. I was going to at least force myself to go. Unfortunately, I wasn’t feel well last night. Sinuses I guess, because I’m ok today. I stayed home and watched TV and messed around on the computer. I was kind of down that I didn’t get to start, but maybe its for the best. Maybe I need a few more days to get myself in the right frame of mind.

I realized to accomplish the things I want to accomplish, I think I need the moral support and advice of those who are going through the same thing. The reason that I have trouble meeting new people stems from 2 things. First of all I am quite an introvert and a homebody. Sometimes I have to force myself to go out more. I like staying at home. The other problem is that I am a very religious person for my age. I am in my mid-20’s. Most single people my age seem to be a bit more into partying and drinking than I am. I find it hard to find people my own age that share the values and the interests that I do. I am quite involved with my church, by my church and most other churches that I attend don’t have a very active group of young Christian singles. I am not unhappy with my life at the moment, but I am bored and wish that something more exciting would happen. I also am a bit tired of being single.

There are some things that I am thinking of doing. There is a local guitar shop that has jam sessions on Friday nights. People bring their instruments and jam playing bluegrass music. It has a wide age range of people from people in high school to elderly people. I’ve been a few times but I’m thinking of bringing my guitar and joining in this time rather than listening. I also read in the paper about a local coffee house that has board games inside it and seems to be conducive to socializing. I am thinking of trying both of them.

I think the hardest thing for me to do is go and actually strike up a conversation with someone. It is hard for me to initiate a conversation with someone I don’t know. I’m not very good at it. I’m ok if they are the one who starts talking to me, but am not good at starting them myself. I think I also might be a bit guilty of prejudging a situation or person before I know whether I will like it or not.

I just need to get out of this rut. I find myself often spending Friday and Saturday nights at home watching movies and when I do go out its with one of 3 or 4 close friends. Any advice from those who are farther along with this goal?