Buy a new digital camera

My dearest Kodak Z650,
You inspire excitement previously unknown to me whenever I glimpse your lens extending… and I delight in the sounds you emit at the slightest touch of my fingertip. I could spend hours making you dilate, saturate and shu(tt)er… Ours is a fertile union, able of producing a thousand pixelated progenies—each of them bearing the genes of your filter and resolution, but they have my eyes…

When I bought it, I was absolutely tickled with its 5 megapixels. But it’s cheap. I don’t think it’s ever taken a clear photo (alright, that MAY be based on operator error). But I swear each pic distorts a little more each time I open it – without my altering them.