be a mom

i really wanna be a mom. i absolutely adore children and have worked at day cares, after school cares, and summer camps for as long as i can remember… my first time, a total accepted accident, made me realize i wanted it however that ended not so pretty in miscarriage and depression back in september. exactly a month later (october 30th) i had my daughter’s name put on my foot in memory of what could have been and as a marker of the end of my depression that i was determined not to let kill me. i still cry sometimes but i know it was best that it happened the way it did as it made me grow up a little more and realize i had just a little more living to do before bringing a child into the world. i do plan to try again within the next 2 years and hopefully i will be ready then and things will work out the way i plan.