like I’ve been judged by a different standard than everyone else. I hear constantly about how confidence and being assertive is needed in love and professional life. I treat a woman nice and respectful but her affections are for guys that are rougher around the edges to put it nicely. This has happened my whole adult life. I get treated as a friend while she sleeps with someone else.
I act assertive and I'm called out for being an insensitive jerk. I get angry about something and I'm looked at as being irrational and hot-headed. Others who do the same thing are said to be exhibiting traits of leadership.
I can’t figure this out at all.
Oct 09, 2005, 01:45PM PDT | 3 cheers | 1 comment
A problem I have is that on the one hand I can look like this stone cold person to some. But get me in a negotiation or a situation where I’m scrutinized and I fold up like an omlet.
The last supervisor I had knew exactly how to push all my buttons and manipulate me with guilt. I allowed myself to be put through 3 interviews and then to be browbeat to the point where I was grateful to be given a job. At that point I was a pushover.Salary negotiations were a non-issue for the hiring director as I took their lowball offer. I cost myself a lot of money in that ordeal along with a mountain of self respect.
The thing is that the times I do try to stand up for myself I’m accused of being irrational and a tyrant, that I’ll get a reputation for being a hothead. So why is one person’s assertiveness a demonstration of leadership qualities but when I do it it’s looked on as being emotionally unstable?
Sep 30, 2005, 10:19AM PDT | 0 comments
