be a professional musician

I’m not done at all with this goal. That would imply that I am, in fact, a professional musician, or that I tried and failed miserably. No, I’m just done with the goal, as in, this is no longer a goal of mine. Making music is fantastic, but I don’t need to be a professional.

But I am playing in a band, weekly, with my friends, which is great! So I’m happy about that, it’s nice to be playing music again, actively.

Maybe my goal is not so much to be a professional musician (although that would be nice, obviously), but more: be more of a musician and get out in the open with it! The world will never know you if you keep playing only in the comfort zone of your own livingroom…
But the truth is… I’m so f*cking scared! Ok playing the bass in a band is one thing, but getting out there as a singer songwriter with my own songs… it makes me so fragile and scared! However, as I proved to myself when I performed my monolog on my own, the scarier it is, the bigger the reward!
So: I’ve found out there are these Open Mic nights for singer songwriters in a bar I’ve never ever set foot in. You can only play 3 songs so it’s over after like 10 minutes maximum, so why not go do that? So the plan is to first go and just see what it’s like, and then apply the next time for a spot to play.
Must do this. I so desperately want to make more music, but things don’t happen when you’re waiting around and doing nothing about it!
Get off that couch woman!

I must go do something useful with my life… meaning be more serious about my music. Been playing the (bass) guitar since I was 15, the past couple of years I’m so scared of performing that I’ve just kept the guitarplaying and singing all to myself. Must get more confidence and then take it to the stage someday. I cannot allow myself to not really go do something with this goal I’ve had for over 10 years… I need a good asskicking, write more songs, feel confident about singing and performing them, and then see where life takes me!