Have the Desire and Drive to be Exceptional

my life seemed to be going in evey direction but mine. I have been distracted by all the daily occurances in my life… college, 2 kids, one dog, and a failing engagement seemed to throw me into quite a stage of isolation. I have lost track of all the desire. I had given up on all my goals. I broke the promises I made myself. It’s time to start over again. I think I feel it coming on, I think I’m ready.

that all my life the only people who ever thought I deserved the best were my parents. If only I could find the motivation to fully reach my own potential. If only the my cloak of misery would come off. I want so badly to become a buttlerfly; to emerge from my tattered shell and grab life by the hand. As if to dance with it. New and fresh and worthy. For so long I have allowed myself to be average. I have settled on a life that doesn’t show who I really am. I am young and life will change, but the fear of forever falling short is something that causes me to stay inside myself. Forever condeming me to the corners and empty parts of my bipolar mind. Never letting me get comfortable and constantly causing me to doubt my own power.

In my mind I feel that to fufill this goal I must start living up to my potential. Not to an inmage, but deep down; doing what I am capable of. What am I capable of? I know that I am capable of of extreme acts of courage. I am capable of random acts of warmth and kindness. Yet still, I am all too capable of faults. Of slacking, procrastinating, plus depression and rage. I guess for this goal I must attain all the other goals I strive for and more. When, oh when, will the bipolar part of me lose, and the normal, not broken, part of me be able to take over.

Average Jane, so normal, so plain
nothing exceptional,
no amazing claims,
only whats left after too much neglect,
missing whats gone,
remembering to forget.
desperate for my chance to shine,
I step up now to take whats mine.