Your “family” doesn’t have to be biological.
What I mean is, some families have strong bonds and the relationships are healthy. But if they aren’t you can look outside of that family to make your own circle of support, love, and mutual respect.
You don’t have to pretend you’re in a movie and play a role, be brave for people who aren’t reciprocating. Sadly, I see people doing that all the time, showing up for family events and dreading every moment of it
- never knowing when to say no and reaping no joy from the relationships.
I say no to anyone that is not participating in my life, period.No matter what their “title” is.
I watch what people do now, not what they say.
So here is a personal story:
I dated a guy named Steven G. We were very close and I felt sometimes as if we were best friends. I started noticing that he always had a drink before we would drive anywhere. It may have been a glass of wine or a half glass of wine…but always, he would drink and pay no attention to the fact that we were going to be driving somewhere.
And then one day, he picked me up from the airport with a (I kid you not) strong 32oz Bloody Mary in the console cup holder of his car.
He didn’t care about me, because if he did he would never have done that. I realized that Steven did not love me, he loved his alcohol.
I will never care as much for what someone says to me as I do their actions.
I ask for help now when I need it. When I was younger, because of my family dynamic, I never asked for help.I always assumed that I would be a burden and kept it all to myself. I know now that asking for help is good, and in turn you help those in your life who need it.
I can honestly say, without hesitation, that the only reason we are here is for other people.
(Oh...and for my animals.)