get out of depression

But yesterday it knocked again at my door leaving me completely wrecked. I was surprised to feel its force,I was baffled,helpless in its clutches, completely possessed. I felt so weak that I started crying and after that I decided to take some antideprassant. BUT at the very moment I snatched my hands from medicine box,decided not to go for medical help. It ate my whole day bacause I could not leave my bed. But finally in the evening I felt some improvement in me and I went for a short stroll in nearby park. YES! I could beat it. But why did it happen again? Now what should I do to not fall in this situation again..

Yes my old friend depression,which is inseparable from my entity..It has come back slowly and tried to gripped me again in its ugly claws. Yesterday when I was sitting with my friends for general chit chat..all of sudden tears started flowing on mention of my old friend..who is annoyed with me. My friends were also amazed to see my reaction.They were asking the reason of my outburst. I could not answer them but I could easily trace out the symptoms of my this behavior.Today I am feeling low,trying hard to ignore its calling.

Probloms are still existing in the same way..Some probloms are beyond control..Some lossses are irreparable.But it should not refelect on my moods..Last night all the probloms magnified and I was scred like hell. People say when you have no control over the things..you leave everything on God. Won’t this attitude show that I am trying to escape?

I was astonished to watch my old helpless gestures yesterday.. How could I miss the same familiar sinking feeling. No doubt I am emotionally drained out and may be over stressed. But I had been practicing to live without worry and was almost successful in attaining happiness in my daily life..I cried a lot..Now I am watching my steps to overcome with this.

I can feel same stale air around me..a sign of depression..I tried hard to keep this nasty thing away from me this time..but circumstances..destiny are more powerful..my determination melts away in front of its strong force. I feel like dry leaf against a thunderstorm. I am tired..my spirits are low. Nothing can change my life..

I am passing through a pitched dark tunnel,gasping for fresh air. Happiness is an alien word for me.Every thing is moving fast and out of my control.I have lost the meaning of my life.I don’t find any reason to live.My shadow seems to have left me..I am a falure person,no body needs me.No past,no present and my future is unimaginable…

Why me? My dear depression why on earth you have chosen me? I hate you,your simple thought makes my skin crawl. I want to get rid of you,just get the hell out of my mind and never show your ugly face ever ever again.

Why I am depressed,may be I dont like clouds,I feel lonely and depressed. In my surrounding every person is running after so many things,goals.No body has got time for me. I feel that my life is a big waste,No body is there to share my lonelyness.Depression leads me to the world, where I find too many questions to ask to myself and the persons I love, but no answer is there to satisfy my soul.

Depression has destroyed every positivity in my life, I am feeling low, scared and lost.I feel ashamed of myself,why can not I live my life normally. Am I expecting too much from life? May be I have lost complete control on my emotions..It is bad I know but can’t help it.