Get my asthma under control

like him much better than my previous one

1. will make me literally a more happy person—absolutely, literally. (Asthma can contribute to sadness/helplessness/hopeless feelings)
2. live a longer life
3. live a healthier life
4. able to do more, be more energetic to do more
5. able to dance (stamina)
6. more oxygen to brain =s maybe better thinking, writing, and creating

• lose weight
• take medicine regularly and not sporadically
  (This includes the following:)
1. long term inhaler
2. Singulare
3. short term inhaler
4. stuff to reduce inflammation in esophagus
5. nasal spray

• exercise
• Neti pot

the above are the bald facts of what is needed

did some advanced fancy breathing tests at the pulmonary specialist…

and she seems to think that my weight is causing most of my problems.

(not that i don’t have asthma, but she doesn’t think it’s as severe as others have told me)

I know I should be happy to hear this, and on some level I am, but on another level I’m feel a bit… incredulous and perhaps also a bit angry.

hmm… could it be something to do with the amount of weight she said I’d need to lose to make a difference? (50 pounds)

i think so…

and also, though, besides that, the thing that is throwing me off is not knowing for sure what to think of her methods… which are v. diff from others I’ve seen in the past….

and got some medicines to help calm down the asthma

in process, but it’s better than before… thanks for the support, y’all!

than 2 weeks ago, but got to stay vigilant. i can feel it even if i forget taking the inhaler one time.

and on that note… i should go do that.

but it’s still tough… it’s not coming back (meaning my breathing) the way it used to come back right after i started to treat it…

hmm… it probably doesn’t help that I spent a lot of time yesterday in my “godforsaken apartment” clearing things out. Somehow there was something in that place that caused huge allergies and breathing problems for me… something that I couldn’t have realized before spending the night there… (which is why, out of the whole month of November, i only stayed there three nights.)

the plus side is that I did finish clearing everything out.

sign that it’s not under control…
also feeling very tired and weak all the time.

i am so angry at myself.